To the Dark Side of the Moon ( Needham Market) by Man in a Hat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tiny Town Trip

 

The first ever game against Needham Market was just too good to miss. I’ve managed to persuade Stafford to join me, who should come in very handy this trip, being the font of all County knowledge.

 

Needham Market is the littlest place I’ve ever gone to watch County. All it has is a train station, 2 pubs, a Co-op, and most importantly a football ground, Bloomfields.

 

The population of Needham Market is a mere 4,858, so it could comfortably fit inside Edgeley Park twice over, and still leave enough room for a decent away following.

 

What I’m saying is that there was no point in staying over in Needham Market, so we opted for Bury St. Edmunds, where we would have had to change trains anyway.

 

In comparison, Bury St. Edmunds (just a 26 minute train journey from Needham Market) looks absolutely splendid. Bury St. Edmunds also have a football club, 3 breweries, 5 pubs in the Good Beer Guide (plus a further 7 worthy of consideration), a Cathedral, an Abbey, a museum and a Premier Inn right next to the station.

 

Of course this meant that we had to stay 3 nights in order to fit everything in. The sacrifices I make following County.

 

No split tickets this time, a nice easy 4 hour train journey with just one change at Ely. Coming back we’ll have one change again, this time at Peterborough.

 

So, that was the plan, but it wasn’t long before the wheels started to come off.

 

Although I won’t be visiting many pubs, you can find out more about any I do mention at www.whatpub.com

 

What No Station?

 

Due to a major incident on the M60, the whole of Portwood Roundabout is gridlocked and I’m still sat on the bus at the time I should be meeting Stafford at the station.

 

Passenger Assistance has been arranged, so Stafford is already in good hands when I arrive, just in time to get the train. However, due to a platform change, we still end up getting on in a bit of a hurry.

 

We then discover that unless we change coach, we’ll end up getting left in Nottingham, and we’re very lucky to find seats together in the appropriate coach.

 

The hotel is just 5 minutes walk from the station, even using a mobility cane. 30 minutes later we find it, after asking for directions in a pub called the Linden Tree, which isn’t on my map for some reason.

Just 3 pubs to find tonight, all close to the hotel. What can possibly go wrong?

 

The Beerhouse first, which is in the Good Beer Guide, and with good cause. 8 ales to choose from, all from their own brewery (Brewshed), which used to be behind the pub, and is still in the town somewhere or other.

 

We both opt for the excellent Vanilla Porter. The pub is very close to the hotel, so I imagine we’ll be back.

 

Onto the Station (pub) next, which faces the Station (railway). It should be right here, but isn’t. Used to be the commercial hotel serving the station. After wandering around aimlessly (yet again), we opt to pop into the Linden Tree (yet again), as the chap in there was very helpful earlier.

 

As our beers are being served, I have an epiphany - maybe we’re in the Station now!

 

I politely enquire of our host as to whether the pub has always been called the Linden Tree. We’re informed that it used to be called the Station and that the name changed to the Linden Tree 3 weeks ago.

 

My tried and trusted method of navigating by referring to pubs has let me down. Surely this can’t be my fault? The local CAMRA Branch (West Suffolk & Borders) should have updated What?ub.com by now. I have enough trouble trying to avoid getting lost without pubs changing their names in the dead of night.

 

I have since sent in an update, including a nice photo of the pub with its new signage. 

                                                            

 

The Station used to have 6 ales, but the Linden Tree has just 2. I opt for Taylors Landlord, which is very disappointing. The pub’s main thing under its new name is food. We won’t be back.

 

Our final target of the evening is another pub in the Good Beer Guide, the Old Cannon Brewery, which does accommodation and was where we were hoping to stay, but there was no availability on the Saturday night.

 

Food is available, so we plan to eat here, and the food is excellent (Pan-Fried Hake). We were lucky to get a table by the look of it.

 

All of the beer is brewed on the premises, indeed the brewery is inside the pub itself. Flights of beer (taster trays of 3 thirds) are available, so by the time we leave, I’ve tried all 7 of the ales on offer, my favourite being the Black Pig.

 

Groovy?

 

Then we bump into County Supporters Ged and Bev, who are staying here. Did they nick our rooms? No, they’re not staying Saturday night either, so their plan is to go back to Stockport after the game on the Bobby Peel Coach (I think).  

 

Anyway, we have a good chat. Ged claims to be one of the Groovy Gang, who sponsor time added on at Edgeley Park. There are 6 of them apparently. They have a super coach booked for the Eastleigh trip. The super coach is only done twice a season. It wasn’t clear what makes it super.

 

Coach travel seems to be their thing, most recently a coach from the Crofter to Aldershot.

 

By about 9pm, we’re the only ones left. Ged is a little puzzled as to how I can still get served as the bar appears to be closed. Little does he know that I’ve been telling the barman that I’m drinking with residents, so service is allowed.

 

As a result of all of this, we end up staying out a lot longer than intended and end up getting a taxi, which was a bit over the top as the hotel is less than 5 minutes walk away.

 

Ipswich Memories

 

Unsurprisingly, I don’t wake up until 10am, but one of the nice things about staying in a Premier Inn, is that breakfast is served until 11am.

 

One of the staff lives in Needham Market, and she tells us that the entire town has been locked down. Police everywhere, road blocks, the works. We’ll see.

 

For some reason, the pavements in Bury St. Edmunds are advertising the game. I know this is the biggest game in Needham Market’s history, but this does seem a bit excessive. 

 

On the 12:26 train, we bump into Paul, who’s staying at the Six Bells in Bardwell, owned by a new friend of his he met abroad. Very handy.

 

 

The train is very busy with Ipswich fans, who are off to watch the Tractor Boys play Portsmouth, causing me to reminisce about a certain Tuesday night (in 1995?) when County knocked Ipswich out of the League Cup 2-1 in extra time.

 

Although there were only 80-odd of us there, we sang constantly, probably due to the fact that we got to Ipswich at 4pm. I think Gannon scored the winner?

 

Being a Jonny-Cum-Lately, I’ve only followed County since 1991, and I pinpoint that evening in Ipswich as the time and place when I thought I finally understood what made County so precious to its diehard supporters.

 

The Needham Crawl

 

The pubs in Needham Market are so close to the Station that even I can’t fail to find them.

 

Firstly the Rampant Horse, totally rammed with County, inside and out. 

 

 

 

 

Just out of shot here, is a County Supporter being warned about drinking too much before the game, with a rather bemused Edward looking on. It’s 1pm! Can’t see that advice being heeded. 

 

 

 

 

 

Marcus has a rather splendid pendant for the Club to present to Needham Market to mark this auspicious occasion. 

 

The beer is pretty decent, Mauldons Pale Ale.

 

I have a chat with Mick. Oscar has been retired (as you can see from the pictures) and replaced with Arthur, a rather more robust model. I suggest that he has red stripes put on to indicate hearing loss, but he just won’t have it for some reason.

 

Off to the second pub, the Swan, literally just across the street. Even busier than the Horse. I only manage one picture. 

 

I’m on the Morland Golden Hen, a severely underrated beer. There is also time to try St. Austell’s Tribute, not quite as good, but perfectly drinkable.

 

Rubbing Shoulders With the Gaffer

 

Time to get to the ground. A lot further than I anticipated, and all up hill. Reminiscent of that climb up to the away end at Dover, and we all know how that turned out!

 

Stewards have been bused in from Cambridge United (who I learn later lose 6-0).

 

I try to get a picture of their goalkeeper during the game. Well, you could hardly miss him really. Kettle. Black. 

 

 

We decide to stay behind to further support the club, and are warmly greeted by the Marketmen, all of whom are very complimentary about County and in high spirits about how the day has gone (off the pitch).

 

 

No real ale available, but Boreham Wood vs. Chesterfield is being shown. A draw would be nice. I opt for the Ghostship from Adnams (keg), surger Guinness for Stafford - yuk!

 

The chap we’re sat with seems to know everybody and facilitates a nice picture of the bar staff for me. 

 

 

As you know, I’m a very lucky boy, makes up for the baldness some say. In waltz some of the County squad, together with Mr. Challinor. Kerching!

 

I’ve had a few bevvies by now, so no inhibitions regarding getting a picture of Dave wearing my hat. Not sure what he made of it though.

 

Back in town, both pubs are even busier than they were before the game, so we opt to have a curry at the Curry Inn opposite the station. Chilli Fish Balti for me, some lamb dish or other for Stafford. Mine is quite nasty and it feels like I’m having some sort of allergic reaction - my ears are on fire. Stafford doesn’t finish his either.

 

Soon we’re on the 19:29 back to Bury St. Edmunds. Stafford gets a text telling him Wood have drawn with Chesterfield. This day just keeps on getting better.

 

The only plan for the rest of the evening is to set up camp in the Beerhouse and give their range a proper seeing to. I order the Cask Flight, which consists of a third of all 5 of the cask beers on offer.

 

The pub is so busy that we have to sit at the bar.

 

Tonight, we manage to get to the hotel without ordering a taxi.

 

Exploring Bury St. Edmunds

 

This morning we have unfinished business at the Old Cannon Brewery, specifically the Gunport Imperial Stout. That should get our motor running.

 

We were advised as we left on Friday that it was tapped and ready in the cellar, so it should be on this afternoon. Unfortunately, the regulars didn’t finish off the Black Pig last night, and we’re not allowed any Imperial Stout until we finish the Black Pig.

 

I’m wearing my Wembley 2008 polo shirt as we embark on our exploration of Bury St. Edmunds. The approach we’re adopting is to try the pubs in the order we find them, i.e. getting gradually further and further away from the station and the hotel.

 

We find the Kings Arms first time. Long may that continue. The Kings isn’t in the Good Beer Guide, but was worth a look. The Morland Speckled Hen was nice, but still not a sprinkler in sight. They seem to like their beer southern style.

 

In the Gents, they have joke of the day. Today’s joke is:-

 

“Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 pills at me. Luckily, all of my injuries were super fish oil.”

 

No sign of the Blue Army today. Probably already limbering up for Tuesday night.

 

There is a very definite anti-Norwich attitude in this part of the world. I wonder if we’ll find an anti-Ipswich vibe in Kings Lynn?

 

Off we set for the Tavern on St. Johns, which should have 5 ales on.

 

Instead we find the Nutshell. Not even 1pm and I’m already back on form.

 

Anyway, no matter, as the Nutshell is one of the 3 remaining pubs in the Good Beer Guide we’re obliged to try.

 

The pub is listed in Guinness Book of Records as the smallest pub in England. The interior measures 15 feet by 7 feet, but according to the venue, it’s the smallest pub in the UK - so there.

 

There is room for 6 people inside (excluding the barman), and our arrival makes 4, so all is well. However, a group of 4 have to wander past and try again later.

 

The Greene King Abbot Ale is the best I’ve ever had I think. Typically, I may have drunk this in a Wetherspoons, but it never tasted like this.

 

There is no accessible toilet, but Stafford is determined to make a go of it, so I lead him up the creaking wooden spiral staircase up into the attic where the toilet is. In fairness, if the Nutshell were to install an accessible toilet, it would halve the capacity of the pub.

 

I decide to wait, so if Stafford falls down the stairs, at least he’ll have a nice soft landing, i.e. on me.

 

Next up is the Corn Exchange, the local Wetherspoons. What a splendid venue this is. Used to be the town’s Corn Exchange, built in the 1860s.

 

Now don’t get me wrong, our former furniture shop has its charms, but this place is something else. 

 

   

 

Massive inside, all marble staircases, but no lift in sight. Probably not looking hard enough. The beer range and quality is a little disappointing. Oakham’s JHB for me, Guinness for Stafford as there is no dark ale available.

 

Our next pub, the Masons Arms, dates back to the 16^th Century and should have 9 ales to choose from, mostly from Greene King. Not currently in the Good Beer Guide despite being Greene King’s flagship pub.

 

The range is pretty good, so we stay for a couple. The Volta IPA from Woodforde’s is rather average, but Greene King’s Spring Break is good.

After asking for directions, we’re off to Oakes Barn, the 4^th of the 5 pubs in the Good Beer Guide. Best beer so far, the Slate Stout brewed by Grain. At 6.45pm, last orders are called. Looks like Bury St. Edmunds shuts early on a Sunday.

 

Home James?

 

In reality we’ve both had more than enough, so we ask the barman to order us a taxi to take us back to the hotel for something to eat.

 

The guy is a massive Ipswich fan and wasn’t impressed with yesterday’s lame offering against Portsmouth. We’d also been discussing the 5^th Good Beer Guide pub (the Dove Inn), and he says it is a shame we won’t be going, as he reckons it’s the best pub in the town.

 

We’re last to leave, and I’m relieved to be heading back. The trip has been pretty full on. We really should have broken up the day somehow, perhaps visited the museum.

 

The taxi pulls over to drop us off. But what’s this? Not the Premier Inn. Oh no, we’ve been taken to the Dove Inn. Our friend at Oakes Barn must have thought that the Dove was too good for us to miss and instructed the taxi driver to take us there instead of back to the hotel.

 

A Saucerful of Secrets?

 

Oh well, now we’re here, we may as well make the best of it and at least we’ll tick off all 5 of the pubs in Bury St. Edmunds that feature in the Good Beer Guide.

 

The Tea Kettle Stout from Tring is excellent. Wish you were here?

 

No lager at all! No televisions, no machines of any kind. Just beer and chat. What more do you need?

 

The Landlord introduces himself (Roger, the same as the one that was in Pink Floyd). We’re not sure if he means the actual Roger Waters from Pink Floyd, or if he just has the same name. Don’t suppose it matters really. He’s certainly furry enough to have been in Pink Floyd, so let’s just leave it at that. 

 

 

Roger susses out I’m a CAMRA Member and proceeds to produce samples of beer from the cellar in jugs, all dark and to our liking, including Triskele a porter brewed by Moon Gazer. Everything is starting to get obscured by clouds.

 

The jugs keep coming. Don’t meddle. More. I’m going to wake up in a minute to find I’ve died in the taxi and gone to heaven! What a way to finish the tour. The best pub in Bury St. Edmunds. The final cut. What animals. Careful not to walk into the wall. I’m sure you’ll forgive this momentary lapse in reason.

 

Turfed off the Train

 

I wake up the following morning with various CAMRA magazines from local branches and some pub clips, no doubt all courtesy of my new friend Roger.

 

The trip is starting to catch up with me a bit, but after a hearty breakfast I’m feeling ok, which is good as I have a CAMRA meeting in Hyde tonight - no rest for the wicked.

 

There has been no sign of any of the passenger assistance we booked since we left Stockport, despite having received confirmation of the arrangements by email.

 

The train terminates at Peterborough where we have to change, so I can nod off without any fear of ending up in some godforsaken place like London.

 

But life isn’t that simple is it? Due to a points failure, we have to reverse back into Ely and get off the train as it won’t be going any further.

 

We’re advised that the only way back to Stockport from here is via Peterborough, so until the points are fixed we’re stuck. However, this delay does afford the opportunity to purchase the Non League Paper (NLP), with County likely to be front page news.

 

To cut a long story short (not), we get to Peterborough in time to catch our connection to Stockport. That 45 minute transfer time we had at Peterborough came in very handy. Have I told you how lucky I am?

 

Bloody CAMRA!

 

Macclesfield are hogging the front page of the NLP, having secured promotion. Stafford has calculated that County are now mathematically safe from relegation. This is all bunkum I can assure you. I’ve caught him several times this trip using the word “when” when referring to County’s prospects of winning the National League.

 

Stafford gets a text advising that County have been drawn away at Wrexham in the semi-finals. Can’t be any complaints really, can there?

 

Plenty of time to have a look at the CAMRA magazines Roger gave me.

 

This is bloody ridiculous! There is a story about the Station changing its name to the Linden Tree. Thanks for updating What?Pub lads, you’ve made me look a right Charlie!

 

By the time you read this, I’ll probably be in Kings Lynn. Another 3 nights in the mysterious east, this time with both Stafford and #39 in tow. Staying in a pub and doing full Matchday hospitality. We’ve already had to revise our outbound trip as the train we booked on is no longer running, so hopefully nothing else will go wrong. 

 

Man in a Hat.