An Overly Merry Olde Time (Notts County away)
As soon as the fixtures came out for this season, I decided that Saturday 20th January would be the day I celebrated my birthday in 2024, which I celebrate when I like, not when I’m told, so I was delighted to discover that County would play County that day in Nottingham, one of top ten real ale destinations in England.
So, before the season even kicked off, plans were well advanced in gathering a band of merry men (and women) to help me mark the occasion in appropriate fashion.
The Crusade would last 4 days, and my 12 followers would be scattered about the City, making it impossible for the Sherriff to round us all up and ruin everything.
With help from Nottingham CAMRA, a shortlist of 28 pubs had been drawn up consisting of the 9 that they selected for the 2024 Good Beer Guide, and a further 19 which should be serving stout and/or porter, i.e. the dark stuff, my favourite tipple.
The aforementioned help from Nottingham CAMRA was in the form of the Stout & Porter Stroll they have arranged during January 2024, just for me. They have enlisted 42 pubs to serve stout or porter, and all we have to do is go in, drink the ale, and collect a sticker to put our card.
Furthermore, should you find a pub that serves stout or porter than isn’t on the card; you can claim them as a lucky dip.
Once you have visited 12 pubs, you can claim a PDF certificate to hang on your wall. Should be doable me thinks.
We were to hit Nottingham hard Friday 19th January with a raiding party of 9, who would then be backed up by reinforcements the following day.
Match day sort of takes care of itself, a trip to the Nottingham Caves was booked for Sunday morning, and we also wanted to visit the Castle (unlikely in my view).
A hardy crew of 4 were to remain over Sunday Night.
The Bobbleless Blue hat was probably on borrowed time, having seen County knocked out of the FA Cup and FA Trophy, and witnessing the home defeat to Mansfield, although in fairness, it’s record in the League is still played 16; won 12; drawn 3 and lost 1, which is pretty impressive.
So join me, on the Crusade of a lifetime, all in the quest of the Holy Grail, promotion to League One.
Introducing the Merry Men (and Women)
This morning, I’m wearing my grey County sweatshirt bearing the current Club logo. In fact, I’ll be wearing this again tomorrow, having realised that I’ve forgotten to pack a second County shirt, so it could get a bit whiffy by the time we all sit down for my birthday meal after the game.
Before we go any further, I’d better introduce you to the cast: Robin Hood (being played by Uncle Sam for obvious reasons); Will Scarlet (played by me, again for obvious reasons, as he was the Nephew of Robin); Little John (being played by Stafford); Friar Tuck (being played by Phil as he has the right haircut) and Maid Marian (being played by Nikki).
Jo and Lea are to be Hand Maidens to Maid Marion, and the other 5 Merry Men were assigned random roles from Much the Miller’s Son (the youngest); Alan-a-Dale (a wandering minstrel); Gilbert with the White Hand (a skilled archer); The Pinder (an impounder of stray animals) and The Scotchman (a Scot).
So here’s the issue, Meadow Lane is frozen. Will it thaw out quickly enough in order for the game to go ahead? And yet, the Crusade must proceed. Too much effort has been put in to planning the trip just to throw it all away.
From Tap to Cock
My first task was to escort Little John and Maid Marian to Nottingham on the train, dead easy with Passenger Assistance, particularly when this is Tom, who knows Stafford, sorry, I mean Little John, very well from previous excursions.
On the way, I indulge in a can of Faith Hazy Pale brewed by Northern Monk, as it’s important to support the introduction of decent ales on board trains. Regrettably, I note that the ABV is 5.4%, so this probably wasn’t a good idea given what we have planned, and the fact that it’s only 11:50am.
We are met off the train by local Passenger Assistance, who even directs us to the VAT & Fiddle where we’re meeting Peter of High Peak CAMRA fame for lunch.
A three minute walk later, we’re trying to decide which of the 13 real ales to try, which include a stout, a porter, and even a dark mild. No wonder the venue is featured in the Good Beer Guide.
The VAT & Fiddle is the Brewery Tap for castle Rock, a fitting place to start. I’m sure there will be many Castle Rock ales supped these coming days.
The Special Winter Dark Mild from RedWillow is good.
We discover that Peter has already been here an hour, and recommends the Oatmeal Stout from Castle Rock to go with my spicy chilli. Both are very good.
Peter will be adopting the role of Alan-a-Dale (a wandering minstrel).
Just time to try the porter brewed by Buxton before moving on, the Gatekeeper, which just edges out the stout as my favourite beer so far.
We’re up and running, and what a great start it is.
We can’t check in to our various hotels yet, so next up is BeerHeadZ, an intriguing microbar located in the cabbies’ locker & restroom adjacent to the main entrance to the train station.
We find it, but it’s closed, for good by the look of it. How can this be for a pub listed in the Good Beer Guide? If GBG pubs are closing, we’re all doomed, doomed I tells ya!
After getting Little John and Maid Marian onto the tram, which stops near their hotel, I head to the Lace Market Hotel where I’ll be staying, which is rather posh, but as you know, this is the weekend I’m celebrating my birthday.
The real reason I’m staying here is that the hotel has its own real ale pub, called the Cock and Hoop. Dave has arrived who is also staying, so we make our way down to the bar.
I think I’ll assign Dave the name of Much the Miller’s Son, as he may well be the youngest of the Merry Men gathering.
I’m trying the Pudd Porter from Little (previously Littleover) a brewery based in Derby. Very nice.
The other Merry Men, Andy & Stuart who will be Gilbert with the White Hand (a skilled archer) and the Pinder (an impounder of stray animals), together with Jo & Lea, who will be Maid Marian’s Hand Maidens, have all arrived.
After briefing the Hand Maidens as to their extensive duties, some of us head off to the Kean’s Head, our official gathering place this evening. The rest will follow.
The Promised Land
We’ve arranged to meet in Kean’s Head because it’s in the Good Beer Guide, has 6 real ales and also serves Indian food, truly the Promised Land for me.
I choose a dark mild from Thornbridge called Knack which goes very nicely with the Hyderabadi Dum Biryani (which has grilled steak in it).
As I arrived a little earlier than most, my food arrived first, causing many to order the same. It was magnificent, it has to be said.
Whilst the others are eating, I’m introduced to Carl who’ll be opening up Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem in the morning. I explain that we’ll be waiting, as it’s the best chance of actually getting a seat, what with the place being somewhat of a tourist trap.
Carl kindly offers to open up early for us (10:45am) and to reserve us some seating. Very handy as many of my party haven’t booked breakfast and The Trip does food from 11am.
Maid Marian is calling it a night, as is Little John, so I escort them to the tram on the way to the Cross Keys which is close by.
The Cross Keys serves 5 real ales, and I try the Dark Hollow Porter brewed by Liquid Light. A remarkable beer given it’s only 3.7% ABV.
I get chatting to some of the locals, who advise that heat lamps have been brought in at Meadow Lane and that the pitch has also been covered all week, so they expect the game to go ahead. Pitch inspection at 08:30am, but no worries.
I also encounter a group of County Fans who call themselves the Larkhall Massive. More Merry Men to swell the ranks.
However, in the course of reviewing my plan, I realise that there is no way we’ll be able of get everything done in Nottingham, even given we’re staying 3 nights.
Man-in-a-Hat Intervenes
Then I have a brainwave. If the game is called off, not only will we get an extra couple of hours tomorrow, but we’ll have to come back for the rescheduled game and stay another couple of nights.
I hastily borrow one of those fangled mobile devices from one of the Merry Men and call Meadow Lane. Whilst everyone has gone home, I’m able to leave a message asking for the game to be called off, explaining my reasons.
Those of us left standing decide to explore a nice little cluster of 3 pubs nearby, all of which are in the Good Beer Guide.
On the way, we check out the Pit & Pendulum, but the disappointing range of beer leads us to carry on the Angel Microbrewery instead, home of the Angel Brewery, where I try a brew from Wilde Child called Shamrocks & Shenanigans. Not surprisingly, this is a stout, but is a little disappointing compared with ales to date. Should have tried something from the hosts instead.
The first of the 3 Good Beer Guide pubs is the Fox & Grapes, where I have my first pint of Harvest Pale from Castle Rock, which won CAMRA beer of the year back in the day, and is now the brewery’s most popular ale.
We realise there isn’t time to do both of the other pubs, so we opt for the King William IV, which serves 8 ales, and is known locally as the King Billy, a cosy Victorian gem.
The final beer of the day turns out to be the rather delicious Big Scoop Banana Split Stout, brewed by Shiny.
The other GBG pub nearby, the Partizan Tavern (which is spelt correctly by the way - the Landlord is a huge Partizan Belgrade fan) will have to wait until Sunday.
So, all we’ve managed to do today is 6 pubs, 4 of which are in the Good Beer Guide. However, I’ve collected 3 Stroll stickers and have 2 lucky dips, so I’m almost half way towards my certificate.
When I get back to the hotel, I can’t seem to find my room, which given that it faces the lift, is a bit bemusing.
6 pubs down, 22 to go, I have to say I’m now very pleased glad I’ve arranged for game to be postponed.
Robin Takes the Castle
This morning, I’m wearing my grey County sweatshirt bearing the current Club logo - again - will anyone notice, either visually, or perhaps later through olfaction?
By the time I’m tucking in to breakfast (09:30), teletext has already informed me that the game is off, so Meadow Lane must have got my message. Many other games are also off.
The Merry Men are to gather in Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem at 10:45, so we can decide on an alternative crusade, i.e. one that doesn’t include the match.
Friar Tuck has sent word via one of his messengers that he’s no longer coming, but Robin and the Scotchman are, so all is well.
The breakfast is rather good, everything you could wish (aside from haggis). We’re sat in the Cock and Hoop in the same room where we met up last night.
The coffee machine is similar to those found in Wetherspoons, and my patented black coffee topped up with an expresso is working well. The machine is next to the pub’s beer fridges, which offer an extensive range of craft ales, including the Dead Men Tell No Tales Imperial Stout brewed by Bang Elephant (11% ABV). Maybe later.
Radio Nottingham is playing, who confirm that the game is off.
Carl opens up Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem 5 minutes late, i.e. 10:50, i.e. 10 minutes early. What a trooper! I hope the Sherriff doesn’t find out.
My first beer of the day is the Rock Mild brewed by Nottingham, and is excellent. Subconsciously, even I am questioning the wisdom of getting started this time of day, but it does afford me the opportunity to get some pictures.
By 11:30 the pub is very busy, including a group of Nottingham Panthers fans over from Odense Denmark, a regular pilgrimage for them apparently. Their game doesn’t “ice-off” (I think) until 7pm, so our plans now look positively sensible. I’m awarded an honorary Odense Bulldogs pin-badge for my birthday.
Robin’s arrival is awaited, but plan B looks like taking the Castle and then meeting up in the Magpie Brewery Tap at 3pm, which is virtually inside Meadow Lane.
What a venue Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem is, literally carved out of the rock face and tucked under the castle. The pictures really don’t do it justice. No wonder it’s so popular with tourists. Widely regarded as the oldest pub in England.
As I need a Stroll sticker, I’m forced to try the Matte Black Salted Caramel Stout from Beermats Brewery. Again, excellent. This is actually a Greene King pub believe it or not.
Carl tells me that all of Beermats beers have “mat” in the name.
Come noon it’s standing room only as Robin finally arrives.
I decide to acquire, and wear, a souvenir t-shirt.
Whilst Robin eats, I try the other stout on offer, the Cursed Galleon from Milestone. Not as good as the other, but still comfortably of Good Beer Guide standard.
All of the main characters decide to visit the castle, but the other cast members aren’t interested, so we’ll reconvene with the rest of the crusaders at 3pm as agreed.
There is enough to do at the castle to keep us out of trouble for a couple of hours, including getting up onto the ramparts.
Robin even gets time to give some archery lessons.
Afterwards, we head to the Salutation Inn across the road where I have the Raspberry Pale from Titanic, and a communal bowl of dirty fries (Cajun fries loaded with jalapenos and cheese).
This must be one of the hottest things I’ve ever eaten in a pub. I can feel the sweat gathering under my eyebrows, which is really quite disturbing.
We bump into a few familiar faces in here, whom I suspect knew full well the game wasn’t on before setting off, and yet are still here in Nottingham.
To wash down the fries, I indulge in the Plum Porter (Titanic), so I can now claim the Salutation Inn as a lucky dip for the Stroll.
Meadow Lane
A taxi is arranged to the Magpie Brewery Tap, which is pretty much inside Meadow Lane. The fact the game is off should make this a lot more enjoyable.
However, the taxi driver can’t find it. We spot the Trent Navigation which was our next target, and so decide to go in there instead. I have the Navigation Stout, another great beer, and another lucky dip tick. As I’m writing this up I discover that the Navigation Brewery closed last year?
Some of the other Merry Men are already in the Trent Navigation, who inform us that the Tap is shut due to the game being off.
The Trent Navigation is a huge Victorian Canal-side Inn, which has been fully restored and modernised.
Oh well, more unfinished business I suppose, better add it to the list.
As the ground is literally right here, and I also want to see exactly where the entrance to the Magpie Brewery Tap is for future reference, some of us have a little wander.
We encounter Jimmy Sirrel and Jack Wheeler.
And, we even manage to get inside the ground to survey the Club’s efforts to get the game on.
The scores are the TV, so we can see that Wrexham are losing and Barrow are drawing, all good.
Happy Birthday
My birthday meal is at the Embankment, another Grade II listed building, a short walk away.
We are made very welcome and the service is excellent, as is the food. The English Porter from Abbeydale is very nice as well.
This Castle rock venue has cleverly doctored an old picture on the wall.
After subjecting the group to a few short speeches (very short), I make efforts to arrange taxis for 12 to the other cluster of 3 Good Beer Guide pubs on my hit-list, but I just don’t have the required technology, so Gilbert with the White Hand steps in and saves the day.
Soon, we’re all invading the Organ Grinder, the flagship pub of the Blue Monkey Brewery, and somehow get 12 seats together. The place is hammered, as are we.
The Guerrilla from Blue Monkey is fine.
Unsurprisingly, things are starting to break up, as some of us head next door (note, next door) to the Good Fellow George, a former Nat West Bank where I enjoy the Good for Yule, brewed by Lenton Lane.
Eventually, most find us, but there is one more target for the hard core, just around the corner, the Sir John Borlase Warren, where my final beer of the day is the excellent Tuck from Lincoln Green - how fitting.
It should be easy to find the hotel, but we can’t, due to the fact it’s pouring with rain, so I can’t get my map out. What a drenching.
Underneath Nottingham
This morning, I’m wearing my bright orange High Peak, Tameside & North East Cheshire CAMRA Branch polo-shirt. It’s so bright, even Little John can see it. It’s strictly CAMRA business today.
A quick tot up reveals that I’ve now managed to visit 7 of the 9 pubs listed in the Good Beer Guide. Just the Partizan Tavern remains, as BeerHeadZ is shut.
For some reason I’ve lost track of how many of the other 19 targets remain, we’ll just have to work that out on the hoof.
This may not be easy, as Storm Isha is forecast to play a big part in proceedings.
At breakfast, it’s so busy we have to sit downstairs, where I overhear someone order the vegan breakfast, and then ask if she could have extra bacon with that.
After a lengthy pause, the waitress confirms that would be ok.
I don’t know what the opposite of vegan is, but that’s what I’m having for breakfast.
Upon return from breakfast, I find that my room has been serviced, so time has to be spent removing all unnecessary cushions etc. These posh hotels are all very well, but sometimes they do go a bit over the top.
This morning, Robin Hood, Little John, Maid Marian, Will Scarlet, Alan-a-Dale and Much the Miller’s Son undertake a pre-booked guide of the Nottingham Caves. The remaining Merry Men and Hand Maidens have departed.
Absolutely fascinating trip, thoroughly recommended if you come back for the rearranged game.
With Nottingham being situated on a huge ridge of sandstone, over the centuries, people have just dug out their own caves for living or storage, primarily right under their houses.
Aside from an exploration of various caves, we learn about some interesting jobs from back in the day, such as the Privy Man, who would sweep his big cloak around you whilst you did your business into a wooden bucket in the middle of the street; and the Gong Farmer whose role was to dig human excrement from privies and cesspits once they got too full up.
The caves were also used extensively during the Second World War of course.
We also learned that Nottingham used to be called Snotingeham when a Viking Lord called Snota ruled the roost, the literal translation being “inhabited by the people owned by Snota”, who surprise surprise, mainly lived in caves.
Some are hungry, so we regroup back in Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem, where I have Archer brewed by Lincoln Green. Very good indeed.
It seems appropriate that we keep on ending up in Jerusalem, but we never did bump into King Richard.
Maid Marian and Little John are going to do some exploring, and Much the Miller’s Son is off, so the 3 that remain head for the Crafty Crow.
The beer, Twist & Stout from Lenton Lane is excellent. Robin orders a snack of cold meats and cheeses before setting off home. The portion is so large, he ends up taking most of it with him.
The Craft Cow is a very modern looking venue, which is not really my thing, but both of the young bar staff are genuinely enthusiastic about real ale, and very chatty. This really gives me hope for the future of cask-conditioned real ale.
We stay for another whilst Robin soldiers on through his mountain of food. Endless Summer from a brewery called Black Iris. Not as good as the stout, but still very good nevertheless.
Robin bides farewell as Alan-a-Dale and I set off to see how many of my short-list we can manage, starting with the Roundhouse, a food-led pub located in a circular Victorian hospital, originally opened by the Uncle of Florence Nightingale.
Whilst the venue is brilliant, the selection of ales leaves a little to be desired, so I opt for Timothy Taylor’s Boltmaker, which was ok.
How Low Can We Go?
Next up is the Malt Cross, which is in an old music hall, and still has a minstrel’s gallery, but Alan-a-Dale does not wish to perform on this occasion.
The Overtime from Bristol Beer Factory is good.
A nice chap called John wanders over for a chat, who’s a County fan (Stockport) living in Nottingham and recommends we visit the Dragon. Just what we need, more pubs getting added to the list.
Not sure how he recognises me, but as we tell him about our visit to the caves, he asks if we’d like to see the caves under the Malt House. Brilliant!
One of the bar staff (Terri) then proceeds to take us 2 stories below street level into an extensive network of caves that even extends below other buildings, and has loads of old safes etc. Weird.
We decide not to visit the Dragon, even though it’s on the Stout & Porter Stroll, and head to the Mist Rolling Inn, which is also on the Stroll.
However, on the way we get driven into the Hand & Heart by Storm Isha, where I enjoy Resolution from Welbeck Abbey.
The Mist Rolling Inn is a sort of large micro pub, a bit like the Petersgate Tap.
Live music on a Sunday afternoon and £3 a pint. All very civilised. The Panther brewed by Little hits the spot.
There are TVs in here, but all covered with posters, one of which advises that tomorrow’s physic night has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.
One guy on a guitar and a female vocalist are performing. The chap’s solo performance of Britney Spears’ Baby One More Time is particularly disturbing, especially straight after California Dreamin’.
The Landlady tells us that the name of the pub derives from the lyrics of Mull of Kintyre, which thankfully isn’t performed.
The Bell Inn is next, a huge Greene King pub, as we need to eat. Is the Extra Pale Ale from Nottingham Brewing a bit disappointing, or have I just been spoilt with all these stouts and porters?
The seafood risotto is nice, but I’m not sure how much millage I have left in me.
The Roebuck Inn, the local Wetherspoons, is back near the Malt Cross, where the Black Rain from Newby Wyke is perfectly acceptable. This is apparently Grade II listed, but seems pretty unremarkable to me.
We’re both feeling the pace by now, but that doesn’t stop us checking out the Barrel Drop just around the corner in Hurts Yard. The Big Scoop from Shiny is very good. A very nice little micro-pub this.
One for the road at Lillie Langtry’s, namely more of the Resolution from Welbeck Abbey.
Thankfully, when I get back to my hotel, the Cock & Hoop is closed, so I can call it a night. Surely there won’t be much left to do tomorrow, and I’ve comfortably qualified for the Stout & Porter Stroll Certificate.
Whilst at heart I’m a bit of a loner, it’s been nice exploring the superb pubs in Nottingham with someone else. Drinking alone is ok, but it does have its perils.
Remember that time about 20 years ago when I was in my early 40s and I got persuaded by a lady just a little older than me, to go back to her house for some “mother daughter action”?
You’ll recall that after locking the door behind us she shouted up the stairs “mother, get your teeth in, we’ve got company”? I’ve been very wary since that fateful evening, I can tell you.
Today was forecast to be blighted by Storm Isha, but I say what Storm Isha?
Unfinished Business
I’m a bit all crusaded out this morning, and can only manage an eggs royale and a Danish for breakfast. I’m wearing my bright yellow Cornwall CAMRA polo-shirt.
Nevertheless, I manage to check out in time to be 6 minutes early for the opening of Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem, where I’m meeting the 3 Merry Men left standing, namely Little John, Maid Marian and Alan-a-Dale.
I pass the castle for the last time, and it looks like Robin is still in charge, so all is well.
The church bell finishes its 11 chimes, yet the pub is still not open. What a disgrace! Carl spots me through the window and in I go, first to the bar again.
I opt for the Lincoln Green Archer which was excellent yesterday and still is today.
This is where King Richard’s men used to gather before embarking on their crusades, so it’s a bit ironic that our crusades have all started in Jerusalem.
Today’s crusade is to try and mop up any unfinished business in Nottingham before getting the 14:45 train back to Stockport.
This starts in Fellows Morton & Clayton, a pub added to the list by Alan-a-Dale, which used to be office building for the coal carrying company of the same name, located on the canal.
The pub have made good use of this Grade II listed red brick Victorian building, and whilst the Timothy Taylor’s Landlord is good, it doesn’t quite match up to the surroundings.
Just across the cobbles is the Canalhouse, again Grade II listed, which used to be a warehouse serving the canals. Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp who bought a warehouse?
This place is cavernous. There is even room to park your narrowboat inside. The venue is part of the significant Castle Rock Brewery estate, so their Oatmeal Stout is the go-to ale for me, which is very good.
After finding the Newshouse closed, we head to the Cross Keys where I order the Dark Hollow Porter brewed by Liquid Light, which is remarkably just 3.7% ABV. Not sure how that is done.
Although I don’t need it, I acquire my Stout & Porter Stroll sticker, as it’s important to show pubs that it’s worth taking part in CAMRA trails.
You know what’s coming, don’t you? My sheet already has a sticker on it from the Cross Keys, we’ve been here before. Upon inspection of my notes, I realise we came in Friday evening after the curry. How come I didn’t remember? Again, I think you know the answer.
Must be time to go home I reckon.
We meet up with Maid Marian and Little John back where it all began, in the VAT & Fiddle near the station. The final beer of the trip is fittingly from Castle Rock, specifically an ale called Our House, which was very good indeed.
The passenger Assistance at the station is again very good, and with his support, we manage to get a table together despite not having seats booked.
However, there will be no proper beer on the train until it’s collected in Sheffield, so I’ll have to wait until then. The trolley promises to return.
Alan-a-Dale gets off in Sheffield, claiming that it’s easier for him to get home from there, but mysteriously the Sheffield Tap on Platform 1b keeps getting mentioned.
By the time the trolley returns, we’re only 15 minutes out of Stockport, so I decline the opportunity of a beer.
The cryptic crossword remains unfinished as we arrive in Stockport, despite us having thrown nearly 4 hours at it. Hopefully we can find today’s Metro at the station in order to put ourselves out of our misery.
As we’re all hungry, we set off to eat in the Arden Arms, where I have the superb Beef Bourguignon, which goes very nicely with a pint of Trooper.
For pudding, I have half an Old Tom. Perfect.
The final answers to the crossword have been revealed, so Maid Marian and Little John head off, leaving me to reflect on the last 4 days.
Ok, there was no football, but what a weekend. 7 of the 8 Good Beer Guide pubs that were open - done; 10 of the 42 pubs participating in the Nottingham CAMRA Stout & Porter Stroll, plus a further 8 lucky dips - done (certificate awaited); 15 of the 19 other pubs on my short-list - done.
Now, don’t be thinking I visited 40 pubs, I didn’t as some pubs appear in 2, or even 3 categories, e.g. Kean’s Head is in the Good Beer Guide, and on the Stout & Porter Stroll.
Accommodation in Nottingham is plentiful, and the train from Stockport is direct, taking just under 2 hours.
I’m not prepared to rush Old Tom, but this does mean that I’ve missed the bus.
On my way to Bakers Vaults, I find Little John’s hat blowing around the Market Place.
The final final beer of the trip is Black Eagle brewed by Eagles Crag, which is spot on. I wonder how much stout I’ve had over the last few days. I know, enough.
Next up, probably 2 more nights in Nottingham - see you there! I dare you not to come.
Man in a Hat
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