Barrow-in-Fu….. (don’t get me started!) by Man in a Hat .

 

 

 

 

 

 

Barrow Previous

 

I have a lot of previous in respect of Holker Street. Firstly, I remember deeply regretting staying over in Barrow way back when, after we spent Sunday afternoon in Ulverston on the way back home.

 

It was resolved there and then that should we ever return, we’d base ourselves in Ulverston and simply get the train to Barrow on the day of the game.

 

So, in March 2020, we were all set for a couple of nights at the Lonsdale House Hotel in Ulverston (4-poster beds et al) for County’s National League North game on the last Saturday of that month. Tickets for the match and trains all booked, this was an eagerly anticipated trip.

 

I don’t know if you’ll remember, but mid-March we went into something called “lock-down” due to the COVID-19 virus, so one of my first tasks whilst confined to barracks, was to unpick our Barrow trip, i.e. cancel hotels, trains, tickets etc.

 

As soon as the fixtures for this season were published, there was a strong appetite to reconstruct the ill-fated 2020 trip. Unfortunately the Lonsdale was full, but the Sun Inn looked like a good second prize, particularly as it served 6 real ales!

 

In the course of researching the trip, it soon became clear that staying just 2 nights was simply not going to cut it, as there was too much to do (other than the football), so we signed up for a 3 night expedition. Another excuse was the relatively poor train service on the Sunday as compared with Monday.

 

On this occasion, “we” was Stafford, Phil, Uncle Sam and myself.

 

The “too much to do” was 6 Good Beer Guide pubs, plus a further 4 worthy of attention (not to mention where we were staying, i.e. the Sun Inn) and the Ulverston Canal.

 

Before even Checking in

 

Uncle Sam was driving up from Sutton Coldfield, and offered to pick up Stafford and myself on his way, so all I had to do was get myself to Stafford’s place Friday morning.

 

Phil would be driving up from North Wales and would meet us in Ulverston.

 

This morning, I’m wearing my “Stand Up And Be County’d t-shirt produced by the Stockport Express & Times. The O in County’d is a picture of a pound coin. According to the only County Historian in the car, this dates from the 1980’s.

 

Aside from Uncle Sam’s shocking taste in “music”, which I have to say seems out of kilter with his other tastes, e.g. County, real ale, etc., the journey to Ulverston was swift and pleasant.

 

Our lunchtime arrival means we can secure one of the parking spaces behind the Sun Inn reserved for residents. However, finding said parking space involves us taking Ken (one of the regulars) with us in the car. Excellent stuff. We never would have found it on our own.

 

We can’t check in at the Sun Inn until 4pm, so the plan is to have something to eat at the Mill, which is just around the corner, our first Good Beer Guide pub of the trip.

 

The Tiffin Gold brewed by Kirkby Lonsdale is on very good form, as is Funky Monkey brewed by Frome.

 

We’re planning to eat at the Sun this evening, so snacky grazing food is the order of the day, specifically, Tempura King Prawns with chunky chips for Uncle Sam; Beer Battered Haddock sandwich and sweet potato fries for Stafford; and Szechuan Sticky Beef with salt & pepper fries for me.

 

Uncle Sam wants to visit the Laurel and Hardy Museum, which is news to us, so we leave him too it, affording time to try the Epic IPA from Settle, which is good, but not quite as good as the other ales I tried here.

 

The Mill is a fascinating place to enjoy real ale, as the original waterwheel from the Mill is still housed right in the centre of the pub. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s still too early to check in, so Stafford & I head up the hill to the Old Friends, which is also in the Good Beer Guide.

 

Oh my word! Sid’s Mild, brewed here on the premises, is awesome, bordering on perfect. What a great beer, and only 3.5% ABV, an ideal session beer.

 

Phil eventually finds us, and Sam returns from the Museum. The 4 of us stay a little longer than intended, but we finally manage to check in at the Sun Inn. I note that 3 ales are available.

 

Ulverston Zoo

 

Uncle Sam was driving up from Sutton Coldfield, and offered to pick up Stafford and

After exploring our rooms, in what is surely one of the most inaccessible venues Stafford is ever likely to have stayed, we head down for our evening meal.

 

The earliest we can eat is 6pm, so we gather in the bar first. I’m on the Laughing Gravy brewed by Ulverston Brewing, which is fine. We learn that the Ulverston Brewery has a Tap at the Brewery, so that gets added to my to-do list.

 

The restaurant area is to the right as you enter the pub, but is merely behind glass, so it’s like eating in a goldfish bowl, or perhaps even a human zoo.

 

Whilst the food is excellent, homemade scotch-egg with halloumi soldiers followed by lamb shank in my case, it takes a long, long time to arrive. This has the effect of extending our stay inside the zoo.

 

One of the pastimes of the local regulars is to goad diners through the glass. In addition, due to the seating arrangements, Uncle Sam is getting a right eyeful of the extremely young clientele enjoying a Friday night out in Ulverston.

 

Initially, I can’t work out what’s going on. Uncle Sam just seems to keep drifting off mid-sentence. It transpires this is due to the constant distractions from the other side of the glass.

 

There is plenty of time for me to try another Ulverston Brewing ale, Flying Elephants, which I feel is better than the Laughing Gravy.

 

Looks like Uncle Sam has pulled, and in-between courses, a young lady called Deb comes in to introduce herself (i.e. to make fun of us). In my estimation, Deb has been out drinking longer than we have, probably since Tuesday. Either that or she must have strayed off sensible session beers onto something stronger.

 

Deb likes Uncle Sam, but makes no secret of the fact that she doesn’t like me at all. This seems to be down to her assessment that Uncle Sam is a good laugh and I’m the exact opposite. The weird thing is that I never actually get to see Deb as she keeps herself behind me.

 

It’s possible that Deb was visually impaired, as she keeps fondling my head to check which hat I’m wearing this evening.

 

Eventually the meal ends. My guess is that it must have been about 9pm by then. It turns out that it’s the pub itself that’s the zoo, not the dining area where we were, but not in a bad way, I like zoos.

 

I’m seeing species of creatures that I haven’t seen in decades (on account of rarely venturing out on Friday nights these days) and other species that I never even knew existed. I now understand why Uncle Sam was so distracted during the meal.

 

Stafford has had enough excitement for one day and retires. Uncle Sam is joining Deb for a drink, so Phil and I head out to find the next Good Beer Guide pub, which should be close by. Besides, it’s standing room only in the Sun Inn, and bear in mind this is a very large venue.

 

The next pub is very close by, directly opposite in fact. There was no need for me to fetch my coat from my room as this will be the final port of call today.

 

We’re in Gather, a Micropub come bottle shop which has a single real ale available (usually 2 apparently) and 8 keg beers, plus fridge loads of other bottles and cans of course.

 

The cask offering, Moon Rocks from a brewery called Fell, is perfectly drinkable.

 

We’re last out (Gather closes at 10.30pm Fridays) giving us the opportunity to chat with the owner, who is a Barrow Supporter and reckons that County will batter them tomorrow. I’m yet to meet anyone who holds a different view.

 

As we cross the road back to the Sun Inn, a gritter lorry comes past. Oh my God, the game might be off! Not again!

 

County Supporters Enjoying Life in the Sun

 

The room is spacious, but is too hot and for some reason there is no chair. The shower is an interesting challenge. The instructions are “Run the hot tap in the sink, along with the shower on hot for 2 minutes, to pull the warm water through the system due to the Sun Inn being a grade 2 listed coaching inn with a very large plumbing system."

 

If there’s one thing I can manage, is to follow instructions. The shower works perfectly.

 

Today, I’m wearing my grey 1999 tour of the Isle of Man sweatshirt, and my new Peaky Blinders hat of course, which still has a 100% record having played 7 and won 7 (Newport away; Crewe home; Walsall away; Northampton home; Tranmere home; Crawley home; Stevenage home), the best start for any hat ever.

 

Furthermore when the hat hasn’t been present, County lose (Orient home; Grimsby away; Wimbledon away; Rochdale away) further adding to its already mythical status. So, please stop asking me where my top hat is!

 

Aside from the missing black pudding, the breakfast is excellent. We learn that the Sun Inn is hosting 3 coaches of County Supporters from Noon, as the Police won’t allow them to stop anywhere in or even near Barrow.

 

We’re meeting Dave and the Ye Olde Vic posse here at 11:30, who have been staying all week in Silverdale (and I thought 3 nights was over the top!).

 

Before that though, we need to find Stafford a radio that can pick up medium wave, as we learnt yesterday that is the only way to pick up match commentary. Nowhere in Ulverston stocks such an item, so we’ll have to try again when we get to Barrow.

 

The other thing we’ve discovered through chatting with the staff, is that a taxi to Barrow should only be about £15 for the 4 of us, so we’ve talked ourselves out of getting the train, convinced that it will be cram packed full of County.

 

It’s 11:15, and we’re all settled in waiting for Dave. The turnover of beer here is brisk, so I get to try an ale that is fresh on this morning, the Lakeland Bitter from Lakeland, another brewery brewing here in Ulverston.

 

We have arranged to meet the Chairman of the Disabled Supporters Club in Barrow before the game, so a taxi is ordered for 12:30, as we also have other ale-related business in Barrow (naturally).

 

The Ye Olde Vic posse have arrived. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dave tells us the fascinating story of a really nice tweed scarf he has. Could come in useful today, but where is it then?

 

Apparently it’s too nice to bring out and risk losing it, so it just hangs on its peg back home. I’ve always suspected that Dave might be losing it, and I present this as further evidence. What’s the point of a scarf that’s never used?

 

Our taxi arrives, but the 3 County coaches haven’t, so I’m denied the chance to get pictures for my blog. However, the staff are waiting in eager anticipation of their arrival.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of the staff asks if Stafford would like to borrow an old MW radio that lives in the kitchen. It fits in his pocket ok, so it looks like he’ll get match commentary after all.

 

Only Emlyn Hughes and the Duke of Edinburgh Shine

 

We’re soon in the Furness Railway, the Wetherspoons in Barrow, which as you’d expect is full of County Supporters, including Steve Bellis and Paul Jones, who readily admit that they should be at Holker Street by now. 

 

 

 

 

 

The pub is nowhere near as good as I remember it, i.e. the selection of ales is very disappointing. Nevertheless, the Jay IPA brewed by Magpie is very good.

 

I grab a couple of chats with various, one with some County fans who are staying in Barrow and already regretting it (told you!); and another with one who works at BAE in Barrow, and tells me that there are paint shops there the size of Edgeley Park as the subs can be 300 meters long. Little do I realise at the time, that we’ll all soon be watching paint dry at Holker Street!

 

The only Good Beer Guide pub in Barrow is the Duke of Edinburgh, which is pretty much on the corner of Holker Street, albeit the wrong end of Holker Street. We’re a little behind schedule, but there is just about enough time to try the Lancaster Black, which is very good stout indeed. We’ll be back after the game.

 

We bump into Fletch and although we are only in there briefly, there is still time for Uncle Sam to be regaled with the tale of Harrogate. Good grief, that must have been 10 years ago, the day Ian Bogie offered Ryan Knight his resignation on the pitch following a 3-0 defeat, if I recall correctly. Will I ever live it down? There is no way I’m going to retell what “it” is I can assure you.

 

 

 

 

On the corner of Holker Street there is a rather splendid statue of Emlyn Hughes, who was born in Barrow, and started his playing career here, and went on to captain England of course. 

 

 

In taking a picture of my travelling companions, I can’t help but wonder how many tens of thousands of photos will be taken with the Danny Bergara Statue once it’s erected at Edgeley Park in a couple of months’ time. If you want to help get this fantastic project over the line, click here:- https://www.dannybergarastatue.co.uk/ 

 

As arranged, we meet Steven, the Chairman of Barrow Disabled Supporters Club, in reception at the ground, who is going to get us into the Cross Bar for a pint, and then have us escorted to the away end inside the stadium in order to avoid us having to battle through the crowds outside in the ground.

 

To cut a long story short, Steven hasn’t been able to deliver, so we have to go back outside and fight our way back to the away end, which we’ve already passed. This becomes doubly disappointing after I get home, as if I’m not very much mistaken, hedgegrower’s report includes photos from inside the Cross Bar where the likes of Tim and Joe are enjoying a pint in a largely deserted venue.

 

I’d forgotten how bad the view is at Barrow for away fans, surely one of the worst in the Football League. Many of the seats have restricted views, and the standing area is at pitch level meaning that someone my height is going to see very little unless they can get a place on the front row. And were all crammed into a corner. Terrible.

 

On the way in, I acquire pies for my lot, and sausage rolls for myself, which turns out to be the highlight of the game.

 

We retreat back to the Duke of Edinburgh, but even the excellent ale in there can’t cheer us up. First defeat for the unbeatable hat. I’ve never seen Uncle Sam so low after a County game, mind you, he was also at Wimbledon, so it could be the cumulative effect?

 

We decide to snack here before returning to Ulverston. Pork belly bites for me, very nice. More stout of course, for everyone, I think. The Ye Olde Vic posse are also in.

 

Back to the Madhouse

 

A taxi back to Ulverston is arranged. The original plan was to go to the Devonshire Arms near the station, which is in the Good Beer Guide, but Stafford has peaked too early, so we go back to the Sun Inn in order that he may retire for the evening.

 

The Sun Inn is hammered again, and as we enter, the 4 of us immediately increase the average age of drinker in the pub by a factor of ten.

 

Those of us left standing are off to our next Good Beer Guide target, the Swan Inn. Some familiar faces in the bar kindly give us directions, a County couple I’ve met many times on my travels. I really should be able to remember their names, but no.

 

They tell me they’ve stayed at the Sun Inn before, but opt for the quiet life at the Travelodge these days. Can’t say I blame them.

 

On our way out the door we bump into the entire Ulverston Rangers squad. They played Eagley in the West Lancashire League Division 1 today and lost to a late goal, leaving them 6^th in a league of 16 clubs. I predict that their luck may change in the Sun Inn, but whether this is for better or worse is hard to say.

 

They can’t believe Barrow won.

 

The Swan Inn has a good selection of ales on offer, and I opt for the South Island from Saltaire for starters, which is very good, as is the Triple Chocoholic from the same brewery. I must bring Stafford back here tomorrow to try that one.

 

Finally, back to Gather to try some of the keg beers, all of which are so-so. When will I ever learn - it’s got to be cask for me! Yet another schoolboy error.

 

We noticed earlier that there was another new ale on at the Sun Inn, so we decide that in the event of being able to find somewhere to sit, we’ll try that to finish off. However, there is nowhere to sit, and besides which you can hardly hear yourself think, so we just keep right on walking, up the stairs and off to bed.

 

I thought I’d managed to switch off the heating in my room, but it’s made a big comeback, so I have to resort to opening the window wider to try and cool the place down.

 

And Then There Were Two

 

Those of you who know me even a little, may be aware of my general distain for technology, particularly stuff that is totally pointless. “Just because something’s possible doesn’t make it a good idea”, you’ll hear me say.

 

The light in the bathroom in my room is a sensor-light, i.e. only switches on if it senses movement. All well and good and no doubt saves on the bills. However, the bathroom has no window, and surprise surprise, the sensor can’t detect me behind a shower curtain, which is where I need to go if I want a shower.

 

So I end up with the ridiculous situation whereby I have to keep waving my hand above the shower curtain rail every 30 seconds or so in order to keep the light on. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, technology is an arse!

 

I learn at breakfast that Stafford isn’t feeling great and is thinking about bailing out a night early and returning back south, blagging a lift with Uncle Sam, who was only ever staying 2 nights.

 

Uncle Sam is going to visit the Dock Museum in Barrow this morning first though (Uncle Sam sure does love his museums).

 

Later that morning, Stafford decides that he is going to go home a day early, so Phil and I keep him company in the Sun Inn pending Uncle Sam’s return. Whilst having a beer, we see Ken again, who we offer to buy a drink for his help on Friday, but he won’t have it.

 

Then, for the 2 of us left, it’s off for a walk down the Ulverston Canal (disused), which should take about 40 minutes. The fact that there is a pub at the other end is purely coincidental.

 

Ulverston Canal and Morcambe Bay

 

The walk starts at Canal Foot which is near Ford Park, where the Sir John Barrow Monument sits atop a huge mound called Hoad Hill, which doesn’t look like a natural feature of the landscape to me. 

 

 

 

It’s a pleasant enough walk, with the canal on the right, some ancient drainage ditch on the left, and some colossal swans (or maybe I’m not used to being able to get so close). 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The path is busy, so this is clearly a popular way to spend a Sunday afternoon in Ulverston.

 

At the other end is the Canal Head, or Foot, which comes out into Morecambe Bay, and where you can see the original lock at the end of the canal.

 

 

 

 

 

 

There are also loads more swans, who don’t seem in the least bit bothered about us, and of course the Bay Horse pub.

 

After returning the Jennings Cumberland Ale, which the barman agrees is undrinkable, we find the Wainwright to be pretty good. No chance of a snack, as no food is served between 3pm and 5pm, which seems odd given how busy the place is.

 

We decide to go back into Ulverston via “the other route”, as it should bring us out near the Devonshire Arms, which we are yet to visit. I’ll admit that we do get a little bit lost, but with help from the local Co-op, we find the pub about 10 minutes later than we should have done, so it’s by no means “a Harrogate”.

 

I’m on the Navigator from a brewery called Logan Beck, which I’ve never heard of. The beer is very good indeed. The brewery is based in Broughton in Furness apparently.

 

The Ulverston Brewery Tap is a 2 minute walk away. Shut. The Stan Laurel Pub is a further 2 minute walk away. Shut. 

 

 

The Final Lap

 

It’s time to eat anyway, so we head for the Farmers Arms, which is very close to the Sun Inn, and should have food available, as well as a good selection of ales. Big tick on both counts, and both excellent as well.

 

Steak stir-fry for me, traditional Sunday lunch for Phil. Beer-wise I start with the Bumble, a honey beer from Bowland, which is very good. Even better is the Swan Black from Bowland Bay.

 

I toy with the idea of ordering some cheese, but that would just be excessive.

 

Phil didn’t arrive in time to visit the Mill on Friday, which is just around the corner, and I’m more than happy to return. The Lancaster Red is superb, but last orders is being called (8pm). We’re last out.

 

The only thing to do is to go back to Old Friends, where I try the Bitter Winter, which is brewed on the premises (Sid’s Mild is long gone) and is rather disappointing. However, the Fellwalker from Bowness Bay is very good.

 

We meet the pub cat, Yo-Yo, who is a jet-black tom with white paws (just the toes) and white whiskers, which stand out beautifully against the background of black fur.

 

Now it’s last orders here as well (9pm). Perhaps Ulverston shuts early on a Sunday?

 

Back home at the Sun Inn, it’s relatively quiet - relatively, so we risk taking a seat and trying yet another new beer that has come on, the Lakeland Blonde, which is ok, but not as good as the other ales I’ve had at the Sun this weekend.

 

Once again, the Sun Inn is the busiest venue of the day, and what’s more it’s getting even busier as people are coming in to watch the boxing. How did we end up in a world where an activity where the sole objective is to beat your opponent unconscious, is regarded as a sport?

 

Phil wants to stay up and watch the big fight, but I’ve no interest in this sort of thing, so off to bed I go. Phil has clocked up over 16,000 steps today, double his target. Well, what do you know, a weekend away with Man-in-a-Hat is good for your health!

 

Game Over

 

No bacon for Phil at breakfast for some reason (must have been naughty in the night) but I have to say that mine was superb.

 

Phil has a long drive home and makes a quick getaway after breakfast, but I have time to have a chat with one of the staff who has lived in Ulverston all of her life and loves it.

 

She ended up behind the bar on Saturday afternoon, and was very complementary towards the County Supporters who dropped in, i.e. the 3 coaches, saying that the atmosphere was great and everyone was well behaved, so well done one and all.

 

On the train I find myself tempted to break up the journey somewhere like Lancaster, Chorley or Preston, all great places for real ale, but think better of it.

 

The scenery on the first part of the train journey is amazing, I’m guessing that it’s low tide.

 

I’ve picked up a copy of the North West mail, and the back page declares that “Bluebirds boss is Wild with delight after completing double over high-flying Stockport”. The game described in the report bears no resemblance to the one I witnessed, I know that!

 

#On a gathering storm comes a short ugly man, in a tatty blue hat, with a blue right hand.#

 

 

Man in a Hat