#On a gathering storm comes a short ugly man, in a tatty blue hat, with a blue right hand.#

 

 

 

 

 

 

Directions to Crewe Please!

 

Although technically, I wasn’t staying over for the game, as I was at my Mum’s that weekend, so it was a good excuse to document the real ale delights of Crewe.

 

I hadn’t been to Crewe for over 10 years, but had been hearing great things about the real ale scene through my CAMRA contacts, and was keen to see what was offer.

 

The plan was to spend the afternoon in Crewe picking off the 3 Good Beer Guide pubs before the game and then to visit Tom’s Tap & Brewhouse after the game.

 

Unfortunately, none of these venues were near the ground or the Station, and were about 30 minutes’ walk away. To make matters worse, there wasn’t even anywhere worth trying in-between the good pubs and the ground.

 

No matter, we decided that we’d simply get a taxi to the game and then back again afterwards. How decadent is that? In fairness, we anticipated there would be plenty of other County fans doing likewise, so costs could be shared, which is often the way on these away sorties.

 

Crewe Dogs - Game Off!

 

So, my Uncle Sam and I arrived in Crewe (well, about 3km north of the town centre to be precise) around Noon, to discover that the game was off! Oh well, we’re here now.

 

First stop is the Crewe Dog in the Market Hall, where we can also get something to eat from one of the other stalls whilst we’re at it. Similar set up the Altrincham Market Hall, or the Produce Hall in Stockport.

 

The hall is full of the Blue Army. Apparently some are going to watch Nantwich play Stalybridge. Hold on, how come that is on and the Crewe game is off!

 

 

 

I’m on the Dark Magic Mild, which is rather splendid. There are 3 other hand-pulled cask ales, plus a countless array of keg offerings on the back wall.

 

Also in the Market Hall, is the Crewe Alex Club Shop, so I pop in hoping to get a programme. However, I’m informed they don’t do programmes anymore, as it has been replaced with a monthly magazine. Oh well.

 

What I do manage to get, is a theory as to why Crewe is off and Nantwich is on. Apparently, the huge main stand at Gresty Road blocks to pitch from the sun, so that part may still be frozen.

 

This season, I’m working my way through all of my old shirts. Today, I’m wearing the 66/67 away shirt, a reproduction that I think Des Hinks did decades ago. It seems to be a bit snug for some reason, so I may have to donate it to the Supporters Co-op. 

 

 

I have a beef and blue cheese toastie for lunch, which is exceptional.

 

Just time to try the Treacle Stout Extra from Ossett, which weighs in a lunch-time inappropriate ABV of 7%, but is absolutely lovely.

 

If you’re heading back to Crewe for the rearranged fixture, unfortunately, the Market Hall doesn’t open on Tuesdays.

 

Mystery Letterbox

 

Right, onward, to Hops, just a couple of minutes’ walk away.

 

Chris and party follow us in. If you’re drinking in the same places as Chris, you can’t be going too far wrong, can you? Can’t really take another photo, might get accused of stalking.

 

Although Hops is described as a Belgian-style Café-bar, there is a significant real ale offering also. I opt for the Old Moor Porter from Acorn, a particular favourite of mine, and this certainly doesn’t disappoint.

 

Uncle Sam and I settle back into the sad old men leather arm chairs under the stairs near the radiators.

 

The door to the toilets has a letterbox, albeit taped up, but what’s the story here? It doesn’t look like 2 houses knocked into one, so did they just buy the wrong door, or perhaps steal someone’s front door in the dead of night?

 

Then, I break one of the unwritten laws of drinking cask-conditioned real ale, a new beer comes on (Single Handed Sailor from Neptune), yet I do not stay to try it!

 

Hanging my head in shame, we move onto the next venue.

 

Please note that Hops does not open until 4.30pm weekdays.

 

Bap, Barm or Breadcake?

 

Our next stop, again very close-by, is the current real ale mecca in Crewe, the Borough Arms. This is by far the busiest place we’ve been so far, and are lucky to get seated.

 

I’m on the Old Porter from Enville, a beer I don’t see that often, so it’s nice to find it, and very good it is too.

 

A beef & salad barm is just what the doctor ordered. Hold on, what is it in this part of the world, perhaps it’s a bap, a bread-cake, a roll etc.? I’ve no idea. Please let me know.

 

Some familiar faces in the corner. As you know, I usually get names, but as none of us are supposed to be here, all are to remain anonymous. 

 

 

 

The Borough Arms typically has a range of 10 hand-pulled real ales to choose from, but there is only time to try one more, the Market Porter from Thornbridge, a beer that is all too often only available as a keg offering, so enjoying it cask is a real treat.

 

Please note that the Borough Arms does not open until 5pm weekdays.

 

Game Over

 

Our final stop is Tom’s Tap & Brewhouse. Although there is no real ale, the opportunity to visit a brewery is not to be missed.

 

22 different keg lines are available and I sample a couple of the darker options, which relative to all the lovely cask ales supped earlier, are a little disappointing. Perhaps we should have started here and ended at the Borough Arms?

 

We manage a brief chat with Tom’s Dad, Sean, who advises that there is no cask as they currently only open 4 days a week, so it’s difficult to avoid wastage. Fair dos.

 

Quite a few County in having one for the road. 

 

 

 

 

 

Tom’s Tap & Brewhouse does not open Mondays, Tuesdays or Wednesdays. 

 

So that’s the story of the trip that was all beer and no football.

 

#On a gathering storm comes a short ugly man, in a tatty blue hat, with a blue right hand.#

 

 

Man in a Hat