Man in a Hat is Hatless No More !

 

 

 

 

 

Unlucky Hats

 

So you thought I’d hung up my hat(s) did you? I sort of had, but now I’m back, reborn, with a brand-new hat. Well, a brand-new old hat, if you follow me ( seen above kindly modelled by my cat Seafur).

 

You don’t? Let me explain.

 

As you know, the first thing Man-in-a-Hat does at the start of every season, is to reassess each of his hats, in order to establish how lucky each one is.

 

You’ll recall that this season didn’t start very well, and as a consequence, every hat was proven to be ineffective in helping the Boys in Blue.

 

By mid-October, the Posh Topper, Bert’s Bowler, the Faux Pork Pie and even the Collapsible Top Hat, had all proven to be unlucky.

 

To make matters worse, when I didn’t wear a hat, County always won, resulting in the grim prospect of having to go the whole season hat-less. This could have serious consequences such as a frost-bitten pate, not to mention constant taunting from my fellow County Supporters along the lines of “oi, where’s your hat”, “baldie” and “you fat slap-head” etc.

 

This just wouldn’t stand, so I resolved to procure a new lucky hat, a hat that was up to the rigours of the challenge of being back in the Football League.

 

Bear in mind that Man-in-a-Hat was born of non-league football, something to keep our peckers up during those dark times.

 

I’d never admit it at the time, but now that is all behind us, I can say without fear of recrimination, that I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it, off the pitch I mean.

 

Following County, I’ve stayed over in places that I would never have dreamed of going to: Stroud (Forest Green); Telford; Southport; Hayes (& Yeading); Gateshead; Mansfield; Ramsbottom; Harrogate; Workington; Vauxhall (Motors); Bradford; Leamington; North Ferriby; Hednesford; Colwyn Bay; Boston; Lowestoft; Gainsborough; Brackley; Maidenhead; Dover; Bromley; Woking; Kings Lynn and Needham Market (Bury St. Edmunds), to name just a few.

 

Not to mention places that would always be “on the list”, such as: York; Hereford; Lincoln; Chorley; Lancaster; Halifax; and Torquay.

 

For reasons I’ll not go into here, there’s going to be far fewer trips going forward. The fact that I’m only just writing up this trip a month afterwards says it all really.

 

The Plan Was….

 

As soon as the fixtures came out, this was one where I was determined to stay over, as I’ve never done Newport properly, and it’s where the Tiny Rebel Brewery is, one of my favourites.

 

There are 9 pubs featured in the 2023 Good Beer Guide (hot off the press), all close to the station or the ground, so less opportunities to get lost, and 2 breweries to visit.

 

Throw in river walks, canals and a hotel directly opposite the station, and you’ve got the making of a great trip.

 

Also, the train is direct, i.e. no changes required, perfect for Stafford.

 

But he’s not having it! The toys are out of pram. He intends to stay in Bristol, he’s not coming with me, so I’m flying solo.

 

In view of all of the above, I reluctantly decide it’s going to have to be a 3 night trip.

 

Bad Memories in Crewe for Stafford

 

So, on the Friday afternoon, I find myself on the 14:39 train to Milford Haven, and 2 hours 50 minutes later, I’m in Newport.

 

On route, we stop at “the scene of the crime”, Crewe.

 

The last time I was there was October with Stafford, on the way to Dublin, i.e. on the way to Holyhead to get the ferry.

 

Passenger Assistance had of course been booked, and all seemed well as we were met at Crewe by a Passenger Assistance dude, who helped us to the coffee shop, and promised to fetch us when the train was due out in some 40 minutes time.

 

He informed us that we were already on the correct platform, so we settled in for a relaxing coffee.

 

We wandered back out on to the platform at the designated time, but to cut a long story short, he was trying to put us on a train to Glasgow, and we realised just in time to see our train to Holyhead pull out on the platform behind us.

 

The next train to Holyhead wasn’t for over an hour and would not get us there in time to catch our ferry.

 

The best that the Crewe Team could come up with was to ring ahead to Holyhead and ask them to hold the ferry. Fat chance!

 

In fairness, we were met at Holyhead Station, but it was still too late, so using Stafford’s stick-power, we managed to wangle our way onto the next ferry, run by a different company, and end up in Dublin a mere 30 minutes late. 

 

I’m amazed Stafford still travels with me. Oh, hold on, he isn’t!

 

Where Did You Get That Hat?

 

I suppose I better tell you the origin story of the new hat.

 

I don’t know the name of the shop where I acquired it, but it’s sort of underneath the Boars Head in Stockport Market Place. You’ll know it when you see it.

 

Recommended by Stafford, a veritable Aladdin’s Cave of vintage clothes and all sorts of other interesting things, including hats.

 

A couple of days before the Newport trip, I popped in to see what they had. Plan B would be to try and find a new hat in Newport.

 

After explaining my problem to the shop-keep (my hat problem, not the other issues), we played hunt-the-hat. The criteria was- needs to be vintage, blue, and different from all of my other hats.

 

Trouble is that the hats were not all in the same place and the whole shop is an absolute rabbit warren.

 

I was about to give up, but then we spot it.

 

Vintage - tick. Blue - tick. Different - tick.

 

It’s a vintage Peaky Blinder style hat, a nod to my poorly hidden Brummie roots. Perfect. The hat is of Brummie origin, just like me.

 

The shop-keep assures me that it is lucky, and I tell him to keep an eye out for the Newport score in order to check if he is right.

 

By Order of the Peaky Blinders

 

The train is slightly late arriving in Newport, and I soon find the Travelodge. I’m staying here as I couldn’t find anywhere interesting to stay, and this is very close to the station.

 

My mission, as it always is, is to support as many pubs as I can, so an evening of general grazing awaits, by order of the Peaky Blinders.

 

I’m having my tea (I’m a southerner, remember) at the Olde Murenger House, which is in the 2023 Good Beer Guide, and claims to be the oldest pub in Newport. 

 

 

The title 'Murenger' referred to the tax collector charged with collecting the 'murage' or money for the upkeep of the town walls.

This is a Samuel Smith’s pub, who restored it back to its mock-Tudor black and white half-timbered style back in the early 1980s.

 

This is a typical Sam Smith’s pub. All dark wood, low beams and memorabilia aplenty all over the place. Loads of pictures of Newport from days gone by. No music, TV, mobile devices or swearing of course.

 

The bitter is pretty good, and the sausages in mustard and honey are excellent. I toy with ordering more, but there is much exploring to do, so I decide to move on.

 

The pub is very busy, which is great to see, particularly as it’s not even 7pm yet.

 

It’s also very hot in here, as the heating seems to be on full blast, despite the fact that winter shows no signs of arriving any time soon. My winter coat is still firmly stashed in the cupboard.

 

First Encounter With Some Rebels

 

I move on to the Tiny Rebel Tap, also in the Good Beer Guide, which is about half a dozen doors down on the other side of the street.

 

I try the Tiny Rebel Cloud Shake Raspberry Overnight Oat Pale Ale, which should surely be too complicated to work, but turns out to be very good indeed.

 

Not as good as the Tiny Rebel Cwtch (rhymes with butch) though, which I score as superb, despite not being a big fan of the red ales. This was the beer that put the Tiny Rebel Brewery on the map, after winning CAMRA’s Champion Beer of Britain back in 2015.

 

I’m having nachos with Birria Beef on top. It takes me an hour to get through them, but I’m in no hurry, and this gives me time to try the Simplicity from Bristol Beer Factory, again, excellent. No cutlery was harmed in the course of eating the nachos.

 

No sign of The Blue Army as yet.

 

My next stop is the Pen & Wig, which again, is in the Good Beer Guide, evidenced by the fact that the GBG logo is emblazoned on the front of the food menus - never seen that before. I note that pan-fired chorizo is on the menu, but my grazing is done for tonight, meaning I’ll have to come back another day.

 

I try the TWaTI FFRWaTI brewed by Trefforest (I kid you not), which is good.

 

One of the other beers looks very interesting indeed, but it’s too strong given my exploits this evening, so I’ll save that for later this weekend.

 

My final target this evening is the Red Lion, which is just up the road. The first pub today to have beermats. No worries there though, as I’m always carrying.

Birmingham vs. Sunderland is on the TV, and the pub is so busy, I end up sharing a table with a Newport fan who is going to the game tomorrow with his grandson.

 

He reckons that most will be going to Cardiff to watch Wales play Argentina, which apparently is why Newport is so busy tonight, i.e. Cardiff is full up.

 

The Butty Bach from Wye Valley is good.

 

Birmingham City lose 2-1, which as I have a bit of a Brummie theme going on this weekend, I hope isn’t a bad omen for tomorrow.

 

The Blues fans were singing their version of Que Sera Sera.

 

“When I was just a little boy, I asked my Mother what should I be? Should I be Villa, should I be Blues, here’s what she said to me. Wash yer mouth out son, and go get your Father’s gun………..”

 

I think you know the rest.

 

Unfortunately, I have to walk past the Pen & Wig again on my way back to the hotel, which leads to disaster!

 

In the course of this very short walk, my stupid brain (which has gotten me into trouble time and time again, as you well know) convinces me that the beer I spotted in the Pen & Wig earlier will run out before I return to try it later this weekend.

 

I keep telling my brain that there is absolutely no reason to assume that, but it just won’t have it, so I end up back in the Pen & Wig, drinking the Jester Brew 21 Chilli Chocolate Fudge Stout, brewed by Goff’s, which turns out to be very good, and is definitely my sort of thing.

 

That’s it, the trip is up and running, with 4 of the target Good Beer Guide pubs already ticked off.

 

A Red Right Hand?

 

As there is no breakfast available at the hotel, yesterday, I acquired enough bananas, choc-chip brioche rolls and sweet & fiery beetroots for the duration of my trip.

 

In the absence of a fork, I now have a purple thumb and forefinger. Perhaps this is the Peaky Blinder red hand? Definitely a good omen.

 

Pre-match it’s Wetherspoons all the way, both of which feature in the new 2023 Good Beer Guide.

The first is the John Wallace Linton (JWL). Although this is very close to the station, there is not a County Supporter in sight, well, not of the Stockport variety anyway. I try the Gold from Mumbles which is very good.

 

Apparently the JWL was the first Wetherspoons to be opened in Wales, and is known locally as the Top Spoon or Tubby’s. There are certainly plenty of tubbies enjoying a pint, me included.

 

I notice 4 Stockport fans leaving, but it’s too late to get a photo. However, I do bump into Sandra & Mark, who are staying over tonight.

 

 Sandra & Mark

 

You may think it’s all about hats with me, but I also have other superstitions, e.g. County always seem to do better if I walk to the game.

 

So, in an attempt to get in a decent walk in, I’ve decided to walk to the other Wetherspoons along the River Usk and back again on the other side.

 

Before I leave, in a dedicated corner of the pub, I learn that it is named after a WWII hero (aka Tubby), who was the commander of HM Submarine Turbulent that sunk over 90,000 tons of enemy shipping before the boat itself was sunk with all hands lost 12^th March 1943. 

 

 

 

How Far Can a Fly Fly?

 

There is a very good path along the banks of the River Usk, which is a designated national cycle route, and it is remarkably quiet. Newport makes excellent use of its river, which is great to see, unlike Stockport.

 

Plenty of places to sit to pause to take in some amazing sights. It is ridiculously warm and I’m starting to overheat under my new hat, but it must be worn, no pain no gain.

 

 

Half an hour later, I arrive at the Blaina Wharf on the East Dock Road. Not in the Good Beer Guide, so not on my main list, but featured on my map for emergency use should I need it, which I do.

 

The pub is basically a carvery, and there isn’t any area set aside for drinkers (every single table is set for diners), which is disappointing given the sheer size of the venue. And, it’s so hot in here!

 

However, there are 3 ales available, and I opt for the Reverend James from Brains, which turns out to be quite good.

 

It appears that none of The Blue Army opted for lunch here, so all I have for company is one little beer fly.

 

I need to get the other side of the River, so I head over one of the bridges. The Usk is a remarkable tidal river and the tide is out. 

 

 

 

Eventually I find the Godfrey Morgan, the other Wetherspoons. I rate Jemima’s Pitchfork from Glamorgan as the best beer so far today. Looks like my beer fly mate has followed me - impressive.

 

I bump into Sandra & Mark again, but where the hell are the rest of The Blue Army? It’s 2pm now, surely we’re not the only ones going to the game?

 

Hold on, here’s Nathan and Owen. 

 Nathan & Owen.

 

 

 

Sandra and Mark set off for the game, so I end up chatting to some Newport fans, who inform me that there are no pies at the ground, but that away fans are welcome in the Clubhouse. Also, the pitch is immaculate.

 

I’m then escorted to the game by 2 friendly locals, who point me in the direction of the away end upon arrival.

 

Upon entry I discover that there is pie! Mince & onion. Devoid of flavour, but pie nevertheless.

 

My new (vintage) Peaky Blinders hat is already coming in handy, as we’re facing the sun as it sets.

 

County (Stockport) earn a well-deserved win, and a new lucky hat is born.

 

Incidentally, as I write this, the Peaky Blinders hat still has a 100% record (I missed Leyton Orient).

 

Encounter with a Weird Dad

 

There is no ale at the ground, so it’s off to my next Good Beer Guide target, The Weird Dad Brewery Tap, which is a short walk from Rodney Parade.

 

It’s standing room only, and I opt for the Mine’s a Dark, which is excellent.

 

What a great venue. It’s like drinking in an off-licence, although there is a second room with additional seating.

 

I realise that a new ale is about to come on, so I’m now obliged to stay and try it.

 

There is plenty of County in, of both varieties, including a friend of a friend, Andy. He’s a friend of Russ from Cornwall CAMRA, who I got to know through volunteering at the Falmouth Beer Festival.

 

Russ recently celebrated a birthday by spending the weekend in Manchester, so of course I had to help out, and ended up meeting many of his other friends. It’s a small world.

Anyway, Wales vs. Argentina is on the telly, so I stay for the first half.

 

A restaurant called the Taste of Asia is recommended, which is near my hotel, as is the first Micropub to open in Newport, called the Cellar Door, where we agree to meet up after the rugby.

 

Following the garlic chilli beef and a plain naan, I reach the Cellar Door. I’m first to arrive and settle in with Twist and Stout, brewed by Fine Tuned.

 

No sign of Andy and his mates. Perhaps Wales lost? My beer fly is still with me. It must be exhausted by now. It’s definitely the same one.

 Fly in Beer !

 

 

The Cellar Door is not in the Good Beer Guide, but it is certainly worthy of inclusion, probably my favourite bar in Newport.

 

I’m back at the hotel in time for the EFL Programme, but for some reason fall asleep before League 2 comes on, but it doesn’t matter, ‘cos I was there!

 

Fourteen Locks

 

Why stay a third night in Newport? To visit the Tiny Rebel Brewery Tap of course.

 

Thanks to Channel Four, I’m able to watch England win the T20 Final over breakfast.

 

My plan is to walk up to the brewery, which is located in Rogerstone, following the canal which has fourteen locks, which I reckon should take about an hour.

 

Firstly, I call in at the train station to see what times I can get a train back, as it’s only one stop. The “service” runs every 3 hours on a Sunday, so I suspect it’ll be a taxi later.

 

The route is Cycle Track 47 and is well signposted. It’s also part of the Newport Heritage Trail, so even I can’t get lost.

 

I pass a friendly dragon and Newport Castle, which appears to be closed, so I press on.

 

 

 

The walk is all uphill, and although the canal and locks are now in complete disrepair, is very pleasant, aside from the section where the towpath feels like the pavement for the M4.

 

Plenty of wildlife though, including a rather splendid heron.

 

 

 

 

I pass the Fourteen Locks Museum, where the heron appears again, and find the Rising Sun. The local CAMRA Members I’ve bumped into advised me to avoid this pub and head straight to the brewery. 

 

 

However, nature calls, so in I go. What a treat. Draft Bass, which is in excellent condition. Although the pub is clearly food-led, there is a nice area set aside for those who just wish to have a drink, unlike the Blaina Wharf.

 

Late Lunch at the Brewery Tap

 

After a 5 minute walk, I arrive at the Tiny Rebel Brewery Tap, situated slap-bang in the middle of the Wern Industrial Estate.

 

No matter, what a magnificent venue this is. The brewery, a huge dining / drinking area, an extensive bar, and a beer shop, all rolled into one.

 

I start off with the Dark Cherry Battenberg, brewed by Tiny Rebel of course, which is just too weird, even for me. It’s like drinking liquefied Bakewell tart, probably just as the brewer intended, but not my thing.

 

Other beers tried, all excellent, included Fairy-tale in Brew York, from Brew York; Peloton pale, from Tiny Rebel; and the Milk Stout from Bristol Beer Factory.

 

I indulge in a lamb Sunday roast, but decades of Sunday lunches cooked by my Mother means that any other Sunday roast never fails to disappoint. I never learn.

 

The Tiny Rebel Brewery Tap is very busy indeed, but as it’s extremely well run, all-in-all is a very enjoyable experience and well worth the effort.

 

I stay to watch the sunset before setting off to complete the Rogerstone pub crawl at the Tredegar Arms. 

 

 

 

The HPA from Wye Valley is fairly good, but I order a taxi back to Newport where I have unfinished business.

 

There was a bit of a wait for the taxi, affording me the opportunity to try the Reverend James from Brains, which was slightly better than the HPA.

 

Fitting Finale

 

Firstly, back to the Pen & Wig for the pan-fried chorizo. Just as my brain had predicted, the Chilli Chocolate Fudge Stout has run out, so I have Game Changer from Wye Valley, which is very good.

 

Then, to finish off, it’s back to the Tiny Rebel Tap for the Imperial Stout, a fitting finale to the weekend if ever there was one.

 

Both the Pen & Wig and the Tiny Rebel Tap are very quiet.

 

So, that was Newport (and Rogerstone). I really enjoyed it. I felt at home the whole trip, probably because everyone was so fat, just like me. I fitted in beautifully.

 

It will be interesting to see how the Tories latest radical policy to tackle obesity pans out, i.e. making sure that no-one can afford to eat.

 

Walsall is my next stay-over trip, but I hardly think crashing at my parents qualifies for a Blog, so there won’t be one. Then Wimbledon, where we’re meeting up with our friends from Dublin.

 

But hold on, that clashes with the FA Cup 4^th Round. However, should we get through, I’ve arranged for us to be drawn away to a club who play in London, so everything will be fine.  

 

On a gathering storm comes a tall handsome man, in a dusty black coat, with a red right hand.

 

Or perhaps I should sing: On a gathering storm comes a short ugly man, in a tatty blue hat, with a blue right hand.

 

Man in a Hat.