I’ve Cracked It – England World Cup Winners 2022

You see, it’s been bothering me. When FA chairman Greg Dyke teamed up with those intellectual heavyweights including Rio Ferdinand and Danny Mills 

Would be Pasty King, and sometimes football pundit Danny Mills.

to come up with a plan to improve the national sides chances of winning…….

Rio  pictured with new defensive partner for 2014/15.

 er, anything, and concluded that the best way forward was to essentially obliterate the lower league set up and for good measure the ‘Johnstones Paint’ trophy as well. All this whilst ignoring the rather large Elephant (herd of elephants!) in the room called the Premier League. No matter that end of the game I can safely leave in the capable hands of such visionaries as Patrick Vieira (who thought Greg’s, Rio’s & Danny’s ideas were wonderful) 

Vieira , about the time he and Fabio Cannavaro lost out to Martin O`Neil

.But in the midst of this close season landscape whilst watching our brave boys capitulate even faster than usual whilst rather selfishly not even giving us the masochistic none pleasure of a terse final game ‘will we qualify from the group or not’ saga I got thinking. Perhaps it’s the light nights but sleep does not come easily with my thoughts rather less San Paulo or Belo Horizonte and more Stepping Hill or Brabyns Park, then it hit me……
England keeper Bert Williams looks on as Joe Gaetiens scores for USA
 Greg and his mates got it right, well nearly, how could we be so stupid. I take it all back Rio and Danny should be made honorary Mensa members – that’s assuming that they aren’t already in their own right. 

And for just £9.95 ,you too can be Mensa!

You see the concept was right, promising English talent should of course be getting competitive match experience. They just got the detail wrong, this is what should be happening – brace yourselves, and FA, a great big commission fee invoice is in the post:

1.     The FA Cup. A fantastic brand perhaps sullied a bit over the years by sponsorship and TV but television luvvies cannot get enough of the ‘butcher, baker, candlestick maker’ analogies. So let us give them loads – bring in the Premier League and Championship clubs at the beginning. Yeah that’s right August time a regional free for all. The Dog and Duck at home to Manchester United. Have I lost my marbles you ask, well yes but 40 odd years of E.P, come on, who wouldn’t have ? 

The Dog & Duck ground, ready to receive Man U !

Of course Manchester United are not going to send their first team or arguably even the reserves but the cream of their young (English) talent playing to keep United in the FA Cup. My genius astounds me. A fairer cup competition, more revenue for grass roots football clubs, competitive games for Reserve, A and B sides. What’s not to like about the possibility of an Accrington Stanley v Chelsea Cup final?

Football League Cup Trophy!

  2.     The Football League Cup. The poor relation of the major knock out trophy’s, well not any more. Read as above i.e. all eligible teams start at the same point, and by the way include the two clubs that fell out of League 2 the season prior. Again, the large clubs will invariably field reserve sides but that is good. As the successful clubs get nearer the final you may ask what carrot can we dangle – how about  this: The winner of the FA Cup plays the winner of the League Cup, the winner taking one of the four available European Champions League places, and the loser a UEFA cup place. Burton Albion v Barcelona, has a nice ring to it.

3.     European Champions League. Mathematicians amongst you will have deduced that 3 remaining places remain. It always irks me a little the Champions League is actually nothing of the sort, more like the 'we finished 4th League’ but there you go. 

JP Trophy.

How about one place to Premier League Winners, one to the Championship winners and one to the highest placed side that used the most English players. What, you say, how does that work? Well clearly it would have to be strictly audited, teams could not say use a Congolese boy football genius who once saw a picture of Buckingham Palace and then miraculously gained English (British) nationality but you get my drift. Equally a team could not field a team of English players and then substitute 3 of them after 30 seconds with Brazilian super stars but hey, work with me here.

4.     The much maligned Johnstones Paint Trophy still appears to be on Mr Dyke’s radar. Well no need. Why, because the winners will play the FA Trophy winners for a UEFA cup place. That removes the ludicrous scenario of a Premier League team finishing virtually half way down that league and still qualifying for a European competition. Great incentive for all and AC Milan v Rochdale does it for me! Although Stockport County v Real Madrid really does it for me better.

All of the above steps will remove the need (not that there ever was one) for Mr Dyke (and Rio and Danny) ‘invasion’ of the lower league’s. 

Editors intervention;sorry to resort to this F.A Source pic again, but I am sure he`s on the case!

In fact what I have suggested is the polar opposite of that: the lower and none league’s invasion of the so called upper echelons of the game. This gives the big, rich clubs a huge incentive to get some of their developing talent into lower/none league clubs where there is a serious incentive of potential European experience. This benefits the small clubs and showcases their own talent, benefits the player’s development and ultimately benefits the parent clubs as well as the national side.

This wonder master plan does of course throw up a few extra fixtures (finals) each season but again that is good thing. Whilst the large clubs bemoan the amount of games they have to play each season but curiously manage to squeeze in long and lucrative Far Eastern tours pre-season. So whilst the Van Persie’s, Suarez’s and Hart’s are making TV adverts and thrilling fans in Kuala Lumpur, the young raw talent at those clubs can be making themselves useful playing in FA Cup qualifying rounds at Brighouse in July and early August. 

Brighouse Town stadium, another ready to entertain the big boys !

What’s more the poor luvvies could have a mid winter break where no doubt they will head back to Kuala Lumpur to make more money and the young minions could stay in England dispatching the likes of us from the cup competitions. 


  This just gets better, that then gives clubs such as ourselves meaningful ‘pre season’ games and the national stadium gets the opportunity to tender for more revenue generating finals. I really am wasted doing what ever I do these days.

Of course the Premier League will never ever sanction any of this especially where 4 of its automatic European places are removed. You could also argue that those clubs would have no obligation to send their English talent to smaller clubs which is where rule changes would have to be made. I know existing legislation i.e. Shengen etc could be a stumbling block but I think we should play them at their own game: Human Rights Legislation.

Pele ,who was kicked from hill to burn in 1966.

 I was 10 years of age when I last saw England win a World Cup, two entire successive generations cannot even claim that  and surely it is within our Human Rights to put this right.

Adrian  ©

June 2014    


Top Posts

Linotype Cheadle Heath Nomads 0 Stockport County 3 ( Friendly- 8 July 2017)