What Am I Doing? by Man In A Hat.

What am I Doing?

How the hell did I end up doing Woking? None of my usual travelling companions wanted to go, so I’m on my tod. The truth is that it was either Woking or the real ale desert known as Ebbsfleet, as I couldn’t do both.

Here is a random picture of Phil & Brads in Cambridge back in 2011.

(Editor grumbles ,inserts pic-

After extensive research, I decided to stay at the Red Lion in Basingstoke, which is about half an hour away from Woking on the train.

Friday morning, I met up with Russ at the Plaza for breakfast. I’ve gotten to know Russ through volunteering at the Falmouth Beer Festival.

Russ was visiting Stockport for the weekend to tour heritage pubs, as he was attending a meeting of CAMRA’s pub heritage team at Robinsons Visitor Centre.

After debriefing our activities of the previous evening, and setting him up for the rest of the weekend via the excellent CAMRA Real Ale Map of Stockport and some kind local CAMRA Members who’d offered to help, I’m soon stood on Platform 2, where I encounter Caz and Andy.

Here is a picture of them taken in Colwyn Bay, New Year’s Day 2015.

( Editor garrumphs again `where was your camera this year?-

Apparently, they are in Coach E, so I’ll try to find them later to see if it possible to sit together.

The bottom line is that I’m losing it. Not only have I forgotten my camera (hence the random use of historical photos so far), but also my hat as well! Surely nothing to do with last night’s excesses, which included draught Old Tom at the Swan With Two Necks?

What’s the point of doing a blog when there will be no pictures and no hat?

Well, as you’ll see, I decided on using some of my favourite pictures from past adventures, a sort of Man-in-a-Hat clip show, so I hope you like it. Let me try to convince you, here is a picture of Andy masquerading as a steward at Leamington (March 2014).

( Editor- hmmm...are you quite sure ?-

I’m starting to recall some of the detail from last night, including that the Stockport Beer & Cider Festival may be cancelled, as the new regime at County have decided to refurbish the Cheadle End immediately after the season finishes.

Spending time exploring the pubs of Stockport on a Thursday evening, it was inevitable that I’d encounter various CAMRA Members. The situation is that we can’t hold the Beer Festival on the contracted dates, but that a mutually acceptable alternative is being sought. The Festival Committee will then discuss and decide if it is possible to proceed or not (thankfully, the Beer Festival will go ahead, of which, more later).

Not only have I forgotten my camera and my hat, I’ve also lost the keys to the little padlock that holds my bag together. Yes, the bag that house my jammies! No jammies, no sleep. How am I going to explain to the hotel that I need a pair of bolt cutters to get into my bag?

I’ve detected a tiny hole in my pocket. Tiny, yet large enough to allow the keys to escape.

As you know, my legs are short and stumpy and my torso rotund and weighty (my doctor has suggested there may be a connection), so I have to turn up my trousers.

Turn ups went out of fashion with Roy Chubby Brown’s comedy stylings, so I always turn up my trousers inwardly. Fascinating eh? It occurs to me that the missing keys may be lodged in my turn ups, so it’s off to the toilet to check.

Well bugger me! There are the keys! I’ve always been lucky, so add that one to the list.

Right, what next?

Oh yeah, try to find Caz and Andy. Despite walking the length of the train, I can’t find them. In fact, I can’t even find Coach E. The Train Manager informs me that there is no Coach E. Why is everyone lying to me? The train is hammered anyway, so there is no chance of sitting together, and in any event, they seem to be hiding in the toilets in order to avoid me.

But I’m not prepared to let it lie. As I’m meeting Marcus tomorrow, I have a mobile communication device (of sorts) with me, which may actually come in useful for a change.

I don’t have a number for Caz or Andy, but I do have a number for Christine, a legacy of having volunteered to help marshall the Hatters Half over the years.

After satisfying Christine that I am not some sort of psychopathic stalker, she sends me Caz’s number. Caz informs me they are on the 11:43, whereas I am on the 11:36, hence no Coach E.

After a nice chat with a couple who live in Cumbria and who are heading down to watch their team Plymouth play Cambridge, I eventually arrive in Basingstoke.

The Red Lion is not a pub. And, considerable renovation work is going on. Great!

Quick Tour of Basingstoke

Basingstoke should be better for ale than Woking, but it’s all relative. Pickings are likely to be slimmer than Twiggy in the 60s (note, not Slim Pickens the American rodeo performer and actor).

As I suspected, one evening is more than enough to tour Basingstoke. Although there are 4 pubs in the Good Beer Guide, 2 of them are Wetherspoons’ and 1 is a sports & social club.

The Soldier’s Return, the Rising Sun, the Queens Arms and the Bounty Inn. None of the beers score more than 3 out of 5 (in my opinion). Don’t get me wrong, 3 is a good score, but in the course of an evening, you’d expect some scores to exceed that.

I get a text telling me that the Stockport Beer Festival has been cancelled. I suspect it hasn’t, but won’t know the truth until I get home and pick up my emails. Yes, that’s right, via a desk top computer what sits on a desk. There’s no hurry is there?

The beer in the Wheatsheaf is particularly disappointing, given that it is in the Good Beer Guide.

Basingstoke Sports & Social is an enjoyable venue, but again, the beer is rather average.

The Sloe Stout from Windsor & Eton in the Maidenhead Inn is good, but I’m just too old for Wetherspoons on a Friday night these days.

Should have done Ebbsfleet and stayed in Gravesend! Time for my jammies.

Being a Member of CAMRA is Great

I manage to meet Marcus on the platform at Basingstoke without the need for any cyber-spacic intervention, and we’re soon on our way to Woking for the game. Here is a picture of Marcus presenting Ian Morris with his SCAN Certificate.

First stop, the Woking Railway Athletic Club. I declare my right to enter via the intercom, and in we go. One of the less publicised benefits of being a Member of CAMRA, is that many clubs across the UK which serve real ale are happy to admit CAMRA Members on sight of their Membership Card. Remember the Guiseley Factory Workers Club? Excellent stuff!

Best ale of the trip so far, Gravediggers Dark Mild from Church End.

Tony is already there, then Joe arrives, then Adrian & Steve, all members of CAMRA I assume. A steady flow of yet more County Supporters ensues.

Here is a picture of Tony etc. at Maidenhead February 2018, and a picture of Adrian & Steve in Lancaster December 2017.

The AGM on the local CAMRA branch (Surrey/Hants Borders) is underway in the sizable back room.

During the train journey, I started to talk Marcus into trying out a pub the other side of Woking after the game, specifically, the Crown up at Horsell, which is not only the pub of the year of the local CAMRA branch and the whole of Surrey, but also the home of the Thurston Brewery.

Adrian & Steve had already visited the Crown and I also manage to grab a chat with CAMRA’s Brewery Liaison Officer for Thurston who recommends we visit, so a taxi from the ground post-match is planned.

Marcus is doing match-day hospitality with some local friends, but the rest of us stay put, as we’ve had word that the local Wetherspoons (the Herbert Wells, which is in the Good Beer Guide) are not allowing anyone in wearing colours, so that gets written off.

There is still time to try a pub on the way to the ground called Sovereigns, which does discount for CAMRA Members, where I try the Jenny Jenny from Mondo. Very average indeed. A mere £4 after CAMRA discount. Here is a picture of the sort of supporters I didn’t see in there, taken in Buxton back in July 2011.

I decide to stay to try the Black Sheep Twilighter, which is a little better, but end up getting left behind! Never mind, the fifteen minute walk to the ground from here is a very pleasant one through Woking Park.

Sovereigns was packed full of County and I was by no means the last to leave. Lots of younger County fans as well. Very encouraging. If only I had remembered my camera and hat. To make it up to you, here is a picture of Lando Junior taken at Boston January 2015.

An Evening in Horsell

You’ll have read about the game already. As planned, we meet up after the game and a kindly steward arranges a taxi for us. Crown at Horsell here we come.

Regrettably, Thurstons Milk Stout is not available, but their Gold was very good. Not as good as the Coal Porter from Brightwater though.

A happy couple of hours is spent in the Crown. As I recall, the conversation mainly consisted of enthusing about the excellent Stockport County Appearance Number (SCAN) Scheme, with Marcus holding court as he regaled us with stories of tracking down former players and relatives.

This season of course, players’ SCANs now appear on match-worn shirts (on the back at the nape of the neck

The 2 photos that follow are inadvertently provided by Stockport County, to whom many thanks....

We decide to walk back into Woking, ably guided by County Supporters who had walked up there, down loads of dark alleys, causing me to miss my train back to Basingstoke.

As a result, we all end up back in the Woking Railway Club, which was no great hardship. Tell you who else I didn’t see, Phil. Here he is meeting Deiniol Graham post Colwyn Bay.

I get the train with Marcus and get off at Basingstoke. Hopefully he won’t fall asleep before Winchester where he needs to get off.

After a bit of aimless wandering about, I eventually find the Angel in Basingstoke (the other Wetherspoons) with a view to getting something to eat. No chance!

So after a kebab from the shop near the hotel, that as they say, was that.

Some days later, I eventually return home to emails aplenty regarding the Stockport Beer & Cider Festival. Seems I’ve missed the emergency meeting held by the organising committee, who’ve decided to accept the Club’s proposal that the Festival be moved forward 3 weeks, in order to allow the Cheadle End to be refurbished, so on the face of it, it seems like a win-win situation.

Only time will tell.

Before I go, here are some further random pictures from down the years. JK at Nuneaton (November 2012, not April 2019); me swapping hats with a Policeman in Gainsborough April 2017 (you’ll recall that the picture was actually taken by the other Policeman!); and a bunch of reprobates I managed to corner in Lancaster.