Man in a Hat Stalked by Wannabe DJ`s in Tracksuits

Squished Sardines

The weather forecast is so bad I decide to pack my Factor 30!

The bus is on time, affording me the opportunity for breakfast at The Plaza before meeting up with my travel companions, Stafford and #39.

Coffee, bacon sandwich, toasted teacake, sorted.

We get to Piccadilly to find that the train we’re booked on (which included seat reservations) has been cancelled.

The decision not to book travel assistance is regretted, and a lesson we seem to have to learn over and over again. Even if the trip looks simple, you just can’t predict what the rail system might throw at you.

In addition, having someone in authority to hand who knows exactly what is going on, is invaluable.

After being sent from pillar to post 3 times, I eventually establish that we now have to catch the Middlesbrough train from platform 13, and that someone there will help us.

We deliberately booked on a train that would have avoided platforms 13 and 14, so we’re back to square one.

It’s clear that the train is hammered. However, a very nice lady from the assistance team called Sam, ensures that Stafford and #39 get seats. I have to stand, but am one of the lucky ones, as not everyone manages to get on.

I have already sent in positive feedback for Sam, which I hope is passed on to her.

There is no air-conditioning on the train, which called at Manchester Airport, so there are lots of big cases as well. I manage to make myself a little fort out of some of them.

At every station, there are people who want to get on, but they just can’t, as it’s physically impossible. There are constant pleas from the Train Manager, who is becoming increasingly distraught, for people to consider getting off and waiting for the train following.

The absence of any assurance that the train behind is less packed, results in very few jumping ship. She does use the word squished though, which I realise is a word that is seriously under-used these days.

It’s the perfect storm, August Bank Holiday Weekend, trains breaking down, trains getting cancelled, Manchester Pride, Leeds Festival and Harrogate verses County.

I won’t say it was like being sardines, as it was way worse. Sardines are dead fish, but we are living sentient beings!

Eventually, we reach Leeds, and just about have time to get a connection to Harrogate. The train is virtually empty and fully air-conditioned. From one extreme to the other!

Offaly Good

We arrive in Harrogate and retreat to the Harrogate Tap to recover from our ordeal.

Despite being further north, the weather is no better. If anything, it’s even hotter and apparently set to get worse.

I sample the Joshua Jane from Ilkley, the Wild Ones from Bristol Beer Factory and a two quid scotch egg, which is bulky and magnificent. Glad I didn’t order two.

Then we walk to the hotel to help re-familiarise ourselves with Harrogate, and lord knows, I need all the help I can get!

Shortly afterwards, we’re settling in at the Fat Badger (Pale Aura from Bad Co, for me) ahead of eating at a restaurant called William and Victoria, which was recommended to me by one of the guys at Prontaprint, who produced the superb Stockport County Supporters’ Co-op Football Season Calendar.

They do a lot of offal here. I like offal. Devilled kidneys to start, peppered liver to follow, all washed down with an Irish Coffee (offal free).

Then, shortly afterwards in the Old Bell, I learn something new about Stafford. He doesn’t like sitting on chairs that have arms. Understandable I suppose.

Viv on the Pitch?

We plan to explore Major Tom’s Social next, but are intercepted by Viv and Peter, who are heading for Hales Bar, so we join them and end up staying put for the rest of the evening as the beer is rather good. 

                                                  

Viv claims to have been on the Harrogate pitch after the game in 2013 to witness Ian Bogie offering Ryan his resignation, and Ryan showing a certain reluctance to talk him out of it.

We also encounter serial County legends, Phil Robinson and Ian Lancashire, whos seem to think it’s Halloween! 

                                                              

In fairness, this picture is actually two life-size zombies who reside in Hales Bar, apparently called Albert and George.

A Brush With the Law

After breakfast on my own at the hotel, we’re off to the Winter Gardens, a rather good Wetherspoons which used to be the Royal Baths back in the twenties. Hold on, it’s nearly the twenties again! Roosters White Rose for me.

I’m donning my new hat, the faux pork pie hat. Very comfortable indeed.

Not many County about. Perhaps there are still problems with the trains?

Anyway, we plan to indulge in two Good Beer Guide Pubs pre-match, which are virtually next door to each other and boast 14 hand-pulls between them.

Following a brush with the law, we arrive at the Devonshire Tap House which is surprisingly quiet. 

                                                 

                                       

We’ve encountered some of the Blue Army by this point and the new hat isn’t going down very well! A pint of Pale from a new local brewery called Lamb (which doesn’t seem to have found its way into CAMRA’s database as yet) and some of the Harrogate Plum Porter raise my spirits.

The Swan is also very quiet. Black Sheep Riggwelter, what a great ale that is.

Everyone else is outside watching the bowls.

Reprobates Reunion Blessed by Pope

At the game, the new hat is getting mixed reviews.

Thankfully, most supporters are managing to get shelter from the attritional weather.

                                                             

                                                                 

                                                              

At half time, I manage to arrange a 2013 reprobates reunion, but the photo is “bombed” by the Pope of Brinnington.  

                                                    

The bar in which they committed their crime in 2013 no longer has any windows at all, never mind facing the pitch, so we have to do the picture outside.

County get beat and hedgegrower wants the new hat torched!

Outside, waiting for the bus, Caz wants the hat disposed of and there are several other suggestions along similar lines.

Look, you can’t chuck away a hat just because of one poor result. County played well and were unlucky to lose. The game could have gone either way. 

                                                         

The hat stays! You will see it on Monday, at Wrexham, at home to Fylde and at Chorley - so there! Then we will decide the fate of the new faux pork pie hat.

Back to the Grind

Further exploration of Harrogate is required, starting with the Disappearing Chin, a new microbar that opened April 2019 near the Bus Station. Roosters Weakender is pretty good for 3.0% ABV.

Out of the back door we find the North Bar. North Brewing Session is very good.

Then onto the Starling Independent Beer & Coffee House. Not a very promising name, but Harrogate CAMRA pub-of-the-year 2018. Oh my God! The Northern Monk Porter is bordering on perfect. Best ale of the trip.

We bump into the same two chaps we’ve seen in both the Devonshire Tap and Swan. They claim to be County Supporters (but no colours, so no photo) and refer to themselves as the Stockport Harriers Peter Powell Drinking Club (SHPPDC) (perhaps hedgegrower can enlighten us? ( Editors note: Peter Powell is a good friend of mine, and a splendid fellow. Has a long record of organising boozy trips abroad for SHAC- been on a few !)

                                                       

Peter Powell.

My new hat gets slagged off again. I’m not budging, the hat will go on.

For some reason, one of the SHPPDC kisses my head. Oh right, that’ll be the booze! ( Editors note; That sounds like Mr Smith)

Following a rather excellent Thai meal at the Sukhothai (that’s the real name, honest, they have a few places in Yorkshire), we retire to the Little Ale House across the street for a night cap (Roosters London Thunder).

This really is my sort of pub, and we vow to return tomorrow.

Since arriving in Harrogate yesterday, we’ve managed to check out not only 7 of the 9 pubs listed in the Good Beer Guide, but also 4 others, including Wetherspoons. We only drink thirds of course. No wonder I sleep well (it’s all the walking you see).

Freaky

After breakfast, I grease up in factor 30 again in preparation for mopping up target venues, particularly the 2 remaining pubs in the Good Beer Guide that we are yet to visit.

First up it’s Major Tom’s Social, which used to be an antiques emporium and still sits atop a vintage shop to this day.

We have a quick scout about downstairs first. I’m looking for a genuine old leather pork pie hat. Hats aplenty, but nothing that really takes my fancy.

Upstairs I enjoy the Blackcurrant Porter from Pennine, followed by Monuments of Mars from Elusive.

The SHPPDC arrive. This is getting out of hand. The fourth time they’ve followed (stalked) us. I warn them that next time, I’ll call the Police. Fairly warned say I.

They protest that they are merely ticking off all of the pubs in the Good Beer Guide, but I reckon they just overheard us in the course of their stalking.

We head for the Blues Café Bar, one of my favourite venues from our 2013 trip, which I’m surprised to note does not appear in the Good Beer Guide. The competition in Harrogate is very fierce though.

Live music 7 days a week here. 3 different bands on Sundays. We encounter Yum, a cover band that are pretty good. The beer, Double Calypso from Rudgate is spot on.

Yum play Radiohead’s “I’m a Freak”, which I feel is very appropriate at this particular moment in time, and I can really relate to.

I mean this isn’t normal is it? Sitting in a bar in Harrogate on a Sunday, mid-way between 2 County games, being stalked by the Stockport Harriers Peter Powell Drinking Club.

“But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.” What the hell am I doin’ here?” “I don’t belong here.”

“I wish I was special…” “But, I’m a freak…”. Right, that’s enough of this self-indulgent nonsense!

Off we go then. The Alexandra is next where I eventually manage to get some Leeds Pale. The place is very large and very busy. Premiership football and the

end of England’s chances of winning The Ashes (have just gone 9 wickets down) are on countless televisions.

Thankfully the sound isn’t on for City’s latest win. Premiership football is so predictable.

Man-in-a-Hat’s Top Tip

Here’s a nice betting tip for you. Every weekend, bet on City, Liverpool, Celtic and Rangers all to win in an accumulator and also bet on the 4 trebles, i.e. 5 bets in all. No idea what this is called (not a Yankee as that would also include the doubles).

Obviously all 4 will be odds on favourites, so should just 3 of the 4 win, you won’t win much, but when all 4 win, kerching! And, the chance of less than 3 of them winning are remote, so basically you can never lose much.

Should the teams be playing each other, just have a week off.

A great way to cash in on the predictability of top-flight football, courtesy of man-in-a-Hat. By the way, if you use this system, you have to promise to spend all your winnings on following County.

Out of the Ashes

Then, all of the televisions get changed to the Cricket. We stay to watch in disbelief as Ben Stokes gives the Aussies what for, and England win! I still can’t believe it.

The pub empties.

2 stops left for us, starting with the Tap on Tower Street. The Roosters Scrambler is fairly ordinary.

Then, the final Good Beer Guide pub of the trip (aside from Ye Olde Vic of course), the Coach and Horses, the pub with too many doors that got me into so much trouble 6 years ago.

The Ainsty Assassin from Ainsty is very good, but more importantly the pub has air conditioning. We’ve spent all day traipsing around in the searing heat and we finally have somewhere comfortable to drink. The weather has been so bad, we’ve even had to drink water alongside our ale.

Somehow we’ve talked ourselves into popping back to the Station to check if there are likely to be any problems tomorrow, and if so, whether there might be a decent plan B via Sheffield.

 

Complete waste of time, although this does mean another beer in the Harrogate Tap, together with a bite to eat ahead of returning to the Coach and Horses for the charity quiz.

We come almost last, but at least we’ve been sat in a nice cool boozer. What a great weekend Harrogate is, irrespective of any football.

Police Called

A busy day getting back to Stockport (incident free), drinking in Ye Olde Vic and selling the excellent Stockport County Supporters’ Co-op Football Season Calendar before the game.

County beat Chesterfield and the new hat is redeemed.

After the game, the Stockport Harriers Peter Powell Drinking Club show up in Ye Olde Vic, so I report them to the Police, finish my drink, and head home.

Man in a Hat