11 Days Away in Search of Promotion- and the Odd Beer - by Man in a Hat- Part 1

THE STOCKPORT COUNTY SUPPORTERS’ SAGA

The Stockport County Supporters’ Saga is faithfully reconstructed from the records created by Man-in-a-Hat during his epic 11 day mission to discover whether Stockport County could escape the clutches of regional football.

So, while you’re waiting for the fixtures to come out (Noon Wednesday 3^rd July by the way), let me help you relive the final moments of last season through my experiences.

EPISODE IV - REVENGE OF THE MAGPIES

Not that long ago in a regional football league now far, far away…..

After a long hard-fought season, Stockport County were on the brink of winning the Championship. Their destiny was in their own hands.

We join Man-in-a-Hat as he sets out to watch County secure promotion by beating Chorley in their own back-yard.

We’re on Our Way (Friday 19^th April)

The day started just as it does for most County Supporters, with a couple of dozen Scottish mussels in a rich tomato & chorizo sauce for breakfast.

I’m wearing my blue 1883 polo-shirt, as our match-day hospitality today is in the 1883 suite, so I assume Chorley were formed same year as County.

I’m meeting Stafford on the train, who is joining me for the first part of this epic.

The original plan was for 2 nights in Chorley, but bringing the kick-off time forward to 1pm resulted in us deciding to stay an extra night, rather than risk the first train to Chorley Saturday morning. We now have to be at the ground no later than 11am.

Train tickets had to be cancelled and rebooked and extra accommodation arranged.

It will be interesting to see whether making the game kick-off earlier turns out to be a good idea or a bad idea.

The day is getting off to a bit of a slow start, as I went to the Wellington last night for their CAMRA Pub-of-the-Month award, and ended up in the Spinning Top for the monthly Stockport Blues Society, which I would highly recommend. Every third Thursday of the Month I gather.

Perhaps if there were more emphasis on the sort of stuff I saw going on last night, particularly in the Spinning Top, than the accumulation of possessions, the world would be a better place?

It’s way too hot, and set to get worse over the weekend.

My bus is very late. Sunday service today. The roads are very quiet, yet bus punctuality on Sundays (and Bank Holidays) always seems to be poor. Baffling.

On reflection I anticipate that making the game kick-off earlier will turn out to be a bad idea, as I suspect many of the Blue Army will have decided to stay over Friday and many more will hang around afterwards, before finally heading back to Stockport.

I fail to meet Stafford on the train as planned as he gets on an earlier service, but we eventually join the dots at Manchester Piccadilly.

We’re on the 15:01. No sign of anyone else. We spend the journey chatting to a Glaswegian who’s on his way home. Specialist subject, the Blue Brazil (Cowdenbeath).

Been there, done that. Full hospitality in fact, known as the Cowden Curry. Fantastic. Pre-match you get an all-you-can-eat buffet style curry, including the never-to-be-forgotten Haggis Pakoras. Quite simply food-of-the-gods.

We’re soon in Chorley. No taxi-rank at the Station, so we have to wait. The sun is blazing down and my sun-hat is back home. Idiot!

Upon checking into the hotel, I remove the rubber-sheet off the bed and check some football scores.

Brackley have won.

Why didn’t we play today (Good Friday)? We may regret that come 5pm Monday, particularly given how hot it is.

There is nowhere to stay in the town centre, so we’ve ended up at one of the nearby Premier Inns. Ours has a pub, the Malthouse Farm. The ale is rather average.

Cuckoo!

Taxi to the Flat Iron, which should have Mild available. It doesn’t. The barman confirms the taxi driver’s recommendation that we eat at a place called the Bay Leaf on Market Street.

I polish off my Some Like it Blonde by Worsthorne, which is pretty good, and we head off to eat.

On the way, we pass a brand-new micro-bar called the Cuckoo’s Nest, which will of course now have to be added to the list. We establish that it is open until midnight.

The Bay Leaf is hammered (a single party of 50 apparently), but we get a table. I order the “Staff Choice”. This really is very good, bordering on Last Monsoon standard. We pencil in a return visit for tea-time tomorrow, as it’s well located in respect of its proximity to Victory Park.

Next up it’s the White Bull for a swift half of the excellent Moorhouse’s White Witch, to wash down the curry. We’re treated to live music from Kadie Jo Green, who appears to perform here on a regular basis.

“Any requests?”

“Yes, can we have a karaoke instead?”

It wasn’t me that shouted that out, I promise you.

Kadie seemed to specialise in male artistes, Elvis, Robert Palmer, Louis Armstrong. Bizarre, it has to be said.

Whilst I’m at the bar, Stafford pulls 2 birds, claiming they’re called Rita and Sue. Damn that cider. Time to get him out of there, so it’s off to Bootleggers, a micro-pub just over the road.

The Kicker IPA from Wigan Brewhouse (Northern Soul) is good.

So it’s back to the new micro-pub we’ve found, the Cuckoo’s Nest, to finish off.

It’s been open just 6 weeks and it should be very useful tomorrow that our faces are now known, as the landlord / owner has told us to expect “some Police intervention” after the game.

Apparently, the Police paid him a visit and told him that he could remain open if he wanted, but that they wouldn’t be able to help if there was any bother. Charming.

The Cuckoo’s Nest is booked for some sort of veterans reunion during the afternoon, and we’re now allowed to knock the door should nowhere else be open.

I finish the evening off with Weetwood’s Mad Hatter. Well, what could be madder than 11 days on the road following County without going home?

Whilst I see finding this beer as a good omen, it turns out to be rather average, which I’m hoping isn’t a bad omen for tomorrow. Oh great, now I’m angst-ridden!

During the day, we’ve been picking County’s starting 11. Given the opposition in our last 2 games, a draw tomorrow wouldn’t just be good, it would be absolutely excellent, more or less sealing promotion.

However, surely playing for a draw is a recipe for disaster, so County just need to go for it. We’ve chosen Hinchliffe; Minihan; Duxbury; Keane; Palmer; Turnbull; Stott; Thomas; Stephenson; Bell and Warburton. That should do it. 

Not a single sighting of the Blue Army all day. I wonder if anyone else coming?

Judgement Day (Saturday 20^th April)

We arrive at Victory Park by taxi, and by 10:45 are enjoying our first pint of the day, the free one that comes with our hospitality package. Damn these early kick-offs. 

En-route, we’ve passed plenty of County Supporters using various methods to acquire nerve-settling intoxicants ahead of the game.

A big group were waiting outside the Duke of York, probably in vane, as there is no real ale and it shouldn’t open until Noon. Perhaps an exception was made?

Thanks to the powers-that-be, our pre-match lunch has of course been turned into pre-match brunch! The Crop Circle ale by Hop Back is decidedly average. Perhaps it’s just the time of day?

We are being looked after by Josh and Laura. There are 4 other County fans doing hospitality with their mates from Chorley. Will they still be talking after the ga

me?

The place is absolutely crammed. I’d tried to add an extra person to my booking, but I can assure you, there was no room, even for just one more. My third pint arrives, and it’s not even the afternoon yet!

The team sheets reveal the exact 11 we’d chosen yesterday, with the exception of the ‘keeper, who’s listed as “Hinchcliffe”, and not for the first time this season.

The food arrives very late in the day (well, about 12:20). Don’t they realise the game kicks off at 1pm? It’s some sort of breakfast omelette on a bap. Don’t think we’ll do hospitality next year, even if both clubs do manage to get promoted.

Josh and Laura have pretty much left us to fend for ourselves, so we have to find our seats ourselves, which we just about manage.

Mercifully, we’re under cover, as the weather is roasting hot sunshine and my sunhat is back home. I’ve really dodged a bullet there.

County are trailing at half-time. As the ale had already run out before the game, we stay put and I manage to get some nice pictures of the Blue Army and some strange guy who appeared to be watching the game from a giant ladder up a tree on the far side. 

Matty inexplicably misses an open goal! This would have put County level and on course for automatic promotion. His head has gone. It’s Gazza at Italia 90 all over again. Turnbull does his best to play the role of Lineker, but it’s no good.

County then go on to lose 2-0, but never let the football get in the way of a great weekend away! Amen to that!

As if to demonstrate the point (or lack of it) we encounter serial Man-in-a-Hat stalkers, Viv and Peter, who have snuck into the 1883 Lounge and are enjoying a drink.

I have to settle for Guinness, which goes down remarkably well with our post-match hospitality doughnuts.

As we set off on foot back into town, we congratulate the Chorley fans who have also been doing hospitality and are helping us find the way.

They try to cheer us up by playing down their chances. “Don’t worry, we never beat Spennymoor.”

But it’s no good in pretending, we’ve had it. The play-offs are looming, with all of the uncertainly and randomality that will bring. It’s sinking in, we are doomed!

The Dark Side Emerges

The Bootleggers is open but too full, so we soldier on to the excellent Cuckoo’s Nest to enjoy a pint of Grumpy Rabbit from Oscars. Very good indeed. I promise you I am not making up these beer names. Must be just karma? En-route, we’ve checked if we need to book a table at the Bay Leaf.

Then it’s off in search of dark beer, allegedly guaranteed at the extremely under-rated Sam’s Bar near the train station.

Sam’s Bar is a bit rough and ready, so the last guy we expect to bump into there is John Whelan of Connor-Clan and match commentary sponsorship fame.

John was about to leave, but now insists on staying to buy us a pint. And Lancaster Black is on. We’ve hit the jackpot, free dark beer that is excellent.

After insisting on me getting a picture, John disappears into the night. He won’t be that happy in the morning, when he realises that County are heading for the play-offs. 

The beer is so good, that we decide to stay for another, only to find that John has also paid for that, and he’s not even in the building.

Plenty of County in Sam’s, including the guys doing hospitality. They’re all getting the train, but for me, this is only the second night of an 11 day trip. 

As we tuck into our second meal at the Bay Leaf in less than 24 hours, I recall how completely excellent the reaction of the Blue Army was at the final whistle today.

They were basically saying to the players “we don’t think this is over, hang in there, we can still do it”.

Next stop, the Ale Station, which again should have something dark on offer. Nothing as dark as the play-offs of course……… Right, just snap out of it will you!

Best beer of the trip so far, the Hillfoot Best Bitter by Blue Bee. We have a nice chat with a Chorley fan who’s been following them since the 60s.

One final venue remains, the Shepherd’s Hall Ale House, where we find the Deeply Vale DV8 ale, a fitting drink on which to conclude the day. The day on which County missed out on the chance of winning the division and getting automatic promotion.

Stafford has been mixing his ales and ciders like billio (I however have a far more discerning palate) and doesn’t want any more to drink, so I just get him a Jameson’s, something I’ve learnt during my various trips to Ireland over the years.

As you know, you can find all of the pubs I mention on the excellent CAMRA website www.whatpub.com

Man in a Hat.